Joy, Oh Joy! Celebrating Baptism Day!

 

"Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name,

He gave the right to become children of God." John 1:12

One morning last September, six years of prayers were answered when our baby girl's life was changed.  Forever.

During our time in the Word that day, the girls and I began discussing two contrasting groups of people in the world: those who accept the message of Christ and those who reject it.  Those who say "yes" to His amazingly free, underserved gift of salvation and those who don't.  Those who have been adopted into the family of God and those who have not.

At one point in the conversation, Gloria looked at me, concerned, and stated, "I don't know whose family I'm in."

My simple response: "Whose family do you want to be in?"

Her reply:  "God's family."

We talked.  We prayed.  And then my daughter came to Him just as a child should, in complete and total faith.

In faith, she believed Jesus, God's sinless Son, died on the cross for her. 
In faith, she asked Jesus to take away her sin. 
In faith, she said "yes" to Jesus as her Savior and "yes" to following Him.

And by grace, at that moment, she was adopted into the family of God, forever belonging with Him.  (Click here to read a previous post about the wonder and privilege of our own spiritual adoption.)

Five months later Gloria told us she wanted to get baptized.  Though once quite timid about the whole thing, now she was SUPER excited to show everyone else what Jesus had done in her and for her. 

Last Sunday, my husband had the privilege of baptizing his second daughter in front of our family, our sweet church family, and our dear friends.  It was one of the most joyful experiences for all of us!

Here are a few pictures of our celebration:

 

One happy girl right there!

 

Mama about to pray...

 

 

 

Nothing but joy and peace. :)

We will continue to celebrate!  Not because of anything we have done, but because of everything He has done for us. 

 

And most of all, we will continue to pray, pray, pray for both of our daughters. 

Pray they will keep saying "yes" to Jesus as they seek Him and the paths He has planned for their lives. 

Pray they will be warrior-princesses for His kingdom. 

Pray they know and rely on their Father's lavish love and the security of their eternal family. 

Forever. 

Amen.

 

"Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name,

He gave the right to become children of God." John 1:12

 

Tea, My First-Born and Me

 

"So that's why Daddy calls you his teacup!" exclaimed my nine-year old, Grace, sitting next to me on our first mommy-daughter date.

I had just finished displaying and describing these three items to her, according to author, speaker, and founder of Secret Keeper Girls, Dannah Gresh and it suddenly clicked.

The paper cup.  The ceramic mug.  The china teacup.

Twelve years earlier, I'd shared nearly the exact same object lesson with a group of teenage girls during a series on sexual purity in our home using Dannah's book, And the Bride Wore White.  Now I found myself revisiting these questions and these truths with my first-born after beginning another one of Dannah's book, 8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters.

Back then and today, the message remains the same:  Be governed by your value. 

How do you see yourself?  How do others see you?

In your relationship with your mom and dad?
In the way you treat people? Your friends? Your siblings?
With your time with God?
Concerning the clothes you choose to wear?  The clothes you'd like to wear?
With the way you care for your body?
With the words you speak?
With the movies or television shows you watch? 
With the books you read? 
With the music you listen to?
By the images you view on the Internet?  Etc.

Are your actions or choices similar to a disposable, trashable, Styrofoam or paper cup?   
Or an ordinary, everyday, easily-replaceable ceramic mug? 
Or the highly-valued, highly-treasured, priceless, china teacup?

We made our way down the lists, discussing and evaluating ourselves honestly to each other.

But this was only one part of our time together.  Time, prior to the Secret Keeper Event last month, I was unaware we needed.

Two months ago, when I asked a group of moms and their daughters (ages 8-12) to join Grace and me at the Secret Keeper Girls Pajama Party in Atlanta, I had a feeling it would be an uniquely memorable time for us all.  And the event did not disappoint. 

We had so much fun.  We sang songs.  We danced.  We saw a modesty fashion show.  We ate sweets.  We played games.  We spent time together as moms and daughters.  We prayed together.  And we learned what God has to say about us in His Word.  It was the ultimate "girl world" pajama party.

During the break, Grace wanted to walk around and look at the merchandise table.   Out of all the books, the keepsakes, and other items they were selling, Grace zeroed in on the book, 8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters.  

I didn't buy it that night, but ordered it online later after she mentioned it again.  I couldn't believe her excitement when it finally arrived on our doorstep.  And also a week later, when she saw the book sitting (unread) on my nightstand and asked, "Mom, when are we going to start this?!?"

I homeschool both of my girls, therefore I am with them all day. Every breakfast. Every lunch. Every snack. Every dinner. Every high. Every low. I see it all and live through it all. All day. Everyday.

I read to them. I talk to them. I spend time with them. Lots of time. All the time. With them.

But what I was hearing from Grace's heart was a desire to be with me.  Just me.  And as much as she loves her, no little sister.  No school.  Just her and me doing fun girl stuff.  My girl was craving some quality time. 

I knew this was something she really wanted and really needed.  I also knew it would take some intentional effort on my part.  But spurred on by her excitement, I read the book, did a little research,and organized our first official mother-daughter date. 

The suggested location from the book was a tearoom.  I had a couple of options, but based on some recommendations by friends, I chose a local establishment called Cafe 313, which we'd never been to before.  It turned out to be the perfect place for us and for our date.  We drank lemonade (since neither of us wanted tea) from our own china teacups and saucers brought from home, had a delicious lunch and ate some of the finest desserts we'd ever tasted. 

Notice the teacups on the wall?  Perfect setting for our date!

Name is based upon Ecclesiastes 3:13. Love it. :)

From the beginning I could tell Grace felt special and pampered.  It was just us, having some girl gab time, talking about things concerning beauty, modesty and fashion which her five-year old sister isn't quite ready to discuss. 

We weren't rushed.  We weren't interrupted.  We weren't distracted.  I needed to hear her heart and she got to hear mine.  It was sweet.

Grace will be turning ten later this year and will be deemed a "tween" by today's world.  She will find herself caught in that stage between being a little girl and emerging into a full-blown teenager.  Mercy.

Life gets trickier for her as she learns to navigate these waters and I don't want her to cave to the pressures of this world by growing up too quickly.  I want to be there for her.  I want to maintain a close connection with her. I want to know her and reassure her of her true identity in the One who created her and adores her. 

No, a mom does not have to buy this book or go on eight dates with her daughter to know her and be a stable, supportive role in her daughter's life.  But my daughter wants this time and I need it, too.  This experience has motivated me to be intentional, resourceful and creative. And that is a good, good thing for this preoccupied mama!

We have seven specific dates left (think facials, art gallery, shopping and more).  Each date has a specific theme, sure to make some special memories, which is why we bought a special scrapbook in which to record them all.  Our plan is to go on one date each month, leading up to Grace's big double-digit birthday. 

Then, in about three to four years, I'll get to do it all over again with my sweet girl, Gloria.  And then again with our youngest daughter, a little brown-skinned Indian treasure who'll be in our family one day soon.  Hopefully.

Maybe I should write my own book at that time, since I am bound to be a rock star at mastering these mommy-daughter dates with each of my little teacups in training.  :)

How do you know someone had a good time?
When they repeatedly tell you, "Thanks, Mom!"

Desperate

One year ago this week we signed our names on the papers.  We said "yes" to this amazing journey to adopt.  We applied to the India program with our agency and have yet to look back. 

Full steam ahead for 365 days.  That is until last week when we had our first setback.

A phone call.  Another phone call.  Excitement.  An email.  A picture.  Information.  More excitement.  Some questions.  Some answers.  Some concerns.  Some prayers.  Another email.  More questions.  More answers.  More concerns.  Less excitement.  More prayer.

Argggggg.......

When was the last time you were desperate?  Desperate to know what you should do?  Desperate to know, without any hesitation, His plan for you?  Desperate to see His hand and seek His face in light of your situation? 

In a nutshell, that was us last week.  Summed up and tied up in one emotion-packed word:  desperate.  Faced with a HUGE, life-altering decision and desperately needing wisdom.  ASAP.

"If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. 

He loves to help.  You'll get His help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. 

Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought."

James 1:5-6 (The Message) 

We know our Father's voice.  We have heard Him say, "Yes" and we have heard Him say, "No".  We know what undeniable peace feels like when we're walking the path He's set before us.  We also know what unrest, irritability and irritation feels like when we're not.

The whole situation reminded me of a winter day a couple of years ago.  On this particular day, I was traveling alone in my car to an unknown destination, trying to figure out the newly added navigation feature on my phone. 

On the way there, I got turned around.  I didn't know where I was going.  All because my cell phone kept cutting out.  The signal kept fading and I needed to hear the GPS voice to know which way to turn and to help me get to my destination.

I needed help.  If I didn't hear the voice,  I would be lost.

Then I remembered this:

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying,

'This is the way; walk in it.'"

Isaiah 30:21 (NIV)

The phone finally kicked back in and thankfully, I arrived exactly where I needed to be and exactly when I needed to be there.

Last week, my mind went back to that day in the car while comparing it to our current situation.  In the same way, Derek and I needed direction.  Our ears needed to hear His voice telling us "This is the way. Walk." or "This is not the way. Stop."

Our minds sorted through the facts.  Our hearts felt the pull of the emotional weight bearing down on us.  We desperately wanted it all to work out.

With each passing hour, each new piece of information, and each prayer prayed, we strained to hear.  We leaned in, listened and eventually, heard Him clearly.

What we'd been so hopeful for and so excited about, quickly turned the other way.  We struggled.  We cried.  We released it.  And that's when we felt the loss.  Just like we did when we walked through the miscarriage I had nearly seven years ago.

When it wasn't meant to be.  Not then.  Not now.

We started this journey by letting our "yes be yes".  But in this particular situation we had to simply let our "no be no."

Today, we are not disheartened, just disappointed.  Our hearts no longer heavy, but hopeful.

We will continue to wait for God and for His immaculate timing for our family.  It will happen.  We don't have the slightest idea when, but we hold to the belief that it will.  And hopefully, soon and very soon.

For now, we've gotten up, dusted ourselves off, laced up our shoes and stepped back on the path of this journey.  We are walking again.  But some things remain unchanged. 

We are still desperate. Still desperate for His leading.  Still desperate for His voice.  Still desperate for His direction.

We will keep going and keep trusting and keep asking for His help to know where to walk and when to walk toward the little one we are desperate to have in our family.


(Forgive me for the vagueness of this post.  Unfortunately, we cannot share all the details for privacy's sake.  Thank you for understanding.)

What Just Happened?!? (Our Confirmation to Adopt)

It's been a year since it happened.
It's been shared in conversations. 
And now, after a year, it has finally been written down.

O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,   

I would never come to the end of them. Psalm 40:5 (NLT)

On December 26, 2011, my husband and I left his parents' home near Augusta, Georgia, where we'd just spent Christmas Day, and took off in search of some after-Christmas bargains as we do every year.

At the first store, we ran into a long-time friend of ours from college.  Brad, and his wife Chrystal, "just happened" to still be in the area even though they usually spend Christmas in Macon.  They also "just happened" to go into the very same store we were shopping in that day, a store in which they've never previously shopped.  We stopped to chat and both being kid-less for the afternoon, decided to continue our conversation with an impromptu lunch at the local Red Robin restaurant.

The actual Red Robin where the actual event took place.

What I already knew about Brad and Chrystal is that they had recently announced plans for their family to pursue adoption domestically.  Wanting to hear their story, I began asking questions.  Lots of questions.

For some crazy reason, I was VERY interested in hearing EVERY detail they could give.  As Chrystal explained her life-long passion for adoption, I was overcome with the pureness and unselfishness of her soul.  She truly cared for orphans, whereas I had only just begun to become aware.  She oozed love, the raw gospel kind and I found myself drawn to her words, but still struggling to personalize them in my own life.

What I didn't know was that God was about to begin writing a new chapter in the story of our family at that ordinary table on that seemingly ordinary day.


The actual booth in the actual Red Robin where the actual event took place.

At some point in our conversation, my husband and I began to open up and tell our friends of our hearts' recent nudging toward India.  We told of our "India onslaught":  the numerous, unexplained encounters we'd already had with people, situations, etc. relating to that nation. 

We told them how our hearts broke when we learned of the female gendercide situation there from a 20/20 news program earlier in the month.  We told them of the little girl, Kinnera, we chose to sponsor in India through Compassion International.  And we shared with them how we cannot seem to stop our prayers from gravitating toward India, a country which we'd never even given a second thought to in the past.

The more we talked, the more they listened.  And the more they listened, the more unsettled I began to feel. 

Suddenly, mid-sentence, my face and upper-body was overcome with extreme heat.  I began sweating profusely, and as a result, started tugging at the wool scarf encircling my neck.

Puzzled, our friends just watched as I tried to regain my composure and cool myself down from this crazy and intense physical reaction.

Brad: "Are you okay?"

Me: "Yeah...I think."

Brad: "What is that on your neck?"

Me (still tugging at scarf): "I...don't...know...what is it?"

Brad:  "It looks like you're breaking out into a rash."

Me:  "What?!?  Where?!?"

Brad:  "Oh my word...and I think...I think the rash is in the shape of...India."

He was kidding.  There was no rash.  Especially not one in the shape of India, though that would have been very cool.

After the laughter at the table died down, the dialogue continued...

Me:  "Whew.  Not sure what just happened there..."

Brad:  "Yeah...well, who knows?  Maybe God is telling y'all you need to adopt a little girl, from India."

Me (picking my jaw up off the table, and boldly declaring):  "Brad, if God wants us to adopt a little girl from India, then the next person who walks past this table, will be...will be a little girl from India."

Wait for it...because quite frankly, I couldn't have written this part better myself.

In the middle of Red Robin, in the midst of a very "white" community, five seconds later, this happens...

Back to our lunch and back to our conversation, we look up and see a dark-haired, dark-skinned, little girl (clearly of Indian heritage) walk by our table, pause and look over her shoulder before continuing on toward the restroom.

I did a double-take and looked up at Chrystal, as if to say, "Uh...did you just see what I just saw?"

She did.  We all did.  Impossible to miss.

Following closely behind the little girl was her mother and little brother.  And we were left with no doubt about their family's ethnicity.

We were also left with no words.  Only a stunned silence remained.
Without intending to, I'd just stepped onto holy ground.  I'd just laid a fleece out upon the table and God clearly answered.  No coincidence.  No mistake about it.

When I thought I was only joking around, God responded with something serious and intensely personal.

Because last I checked, adoption is a very serious and intensely personal matter with Him.

It took a minute for all four of us to regain ourselves.  Our friends were stunned.  My husband had a perplexed, but peaceful look of disbelief on his face.  And me?  Well, I felt I was on the verge of an all-encompassing nervous breakdown.  Total freak-out mama moment coming on. 

What just happened?  How did a simple shopping trip and lunch with friends turn into such a monumental, life-changing event?

Driving back to my in-law's house, a strange, but exciting silence filled the car. 

I looked over at my husband and asked, "What just happened?  Did God really just confirm what I think he confirmed in one simple moment?  Why would He want us to adopt?"

Looking over at me with a smirk on his face, my husband simply and calmly responded, "Why not?"

Here we are now...one year later. 

As our journey toward adoption continues, we are still amazed at how clear His call for us was that cold December day a year ago.  Even on the full-of-doubt days and the "Did we hear correctly days?", we go back.  We go back and intentionally recall this real and very personal story to remind our hesitant hearts that yes, that really did happen.  We even have witnessess to prove it. :)

It reminds us that He planned this long before we ever had an inkling to His plan.  Long before we ever felt the desire for this plan. 

Since then, He has confirmed His plan repeatedly and in many similar and very personal ways (far too many to recount or retell).  His sacred echoes have been everywhere.  And we're learning to open our ears to listen and our eyes to see more because we don't want to miss a thing!

O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,

I would never come to the end of them. Psalm 40:5 (NLT)

 

A Grinch's Prayer

As ashamed as I am to admit it, the Grinch and I share a similar past.

Not in the... "I hate Christmas, so I'll steal gifts and trees and lights and happiness right out from under everyone on Christmas Eve" way.

No.  Not at all.  Because, unlike the Grinch, I really, really love Christmas.

Instead, it was more on the lines of..."I think the most likely reason of all…may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.”

In past Christmases, I remember the internal struggle I had whenever I heard that description to explain the Grinch's personality and the reason for his less-than-acceptable behavior.

Maybe that was me, too.

Given any personality test in years past, I'd score high on thinking, low on feeling.  High on analyzing and judgment.  Low on sympathy and mercy.

I rarely cried and was rarely moved to tears by others' situations and suffering.  I cared.  At least I thought.  At least I tried.  But in truth, more often than not, I turned my head, closed my eyes, or pretended not to hear the cries of the needy and the most vulnerable.

And though I'd never considered myself a taker, I'd never described myself as a giver either.  It's not that I was opposed to giving or that I hadn't given or that I didn't give. 

I had.  I did.

It's just that giving didn't seem to overflow naturally from me like it did from so many others I knew.

The hard reality:  I needed some supernatural help with my seemingly small heart.  The heart defect had to go.  My heart needed to grow.

So I prayed.  One simple prayer.  One very short, life-altering prayer. 

(I feel the need to offer a word of caution here.  You may not want to pray this prayer unless you really, seriously...like really, seriously mean it.  Consider yourself warned.)

"Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours."

 

What breaks the heart of God?  Here's my short list:

The lost.  The vulnerable.  The oppressed.  The captive.  The lonely.  The needy.  The helpless.  The poor.  The sick.  The persecuted.  The wounded.  The widow.  The orphan.

That one prayer changed my whole perspective on God and others.  No longer can I sit back and watch, content to stay within my own world, doing my own thing, for my own pleasure. 

No longer can I look at the needs, both here and there, and think, "There are just so many. I'm only one person so I won't be able to do much." 

Instead, I need to help.  I want to bless.  I'm compelled to give.  Something.  Anything.  Not sparingly, but generously.  Not under compulsion, but from a full heart.  A heart which has been given so much.

Weeks ago, I wrote down a specific list of giving opportunities I was aware of this holiday season.  Knowing it was not possible for our family to give to all of them, I narrowed the list to several things/people/ministries which resonated both with us and the heart of God.  And we focused our giving to that list.

And with each giving opportunity, I'm learning a valuable lesson.  Giving takes practice.  Lots of it.  Like learning to play a musical instrument or a new sport, giving is a skill.  The more you do it, the better you become at doing it. 

I'm grateful for these opportunities.  They have given me the chance to put into practice what I'm learning.

In 2 Corinthians 8:7, the apostle Paul said,

"See also that you excel in this grace of giving."

 

Paul knew that left on our own, we will hoard.  We will keep instead of give.  We will continue to store up temporary trinkets for ourselves.  But because God has been so incredibly generous to us, He calls us to store up eternal treasures on behalf of others and for His name's sake instead. 

 

Clinching closed fists less.  Extending open palms more.  

Not to receive, but to give.  Because the more I try to hold on to my life or my stuff, the more I lose it. The more I let go, the more I gain.

Including a bigger, growing heart.  A more generous heart.  A heart that breaks for what breaks His.

(To all my friends and family who possess such giving hearts, thank you. 

I have learned much from your example.)

 

Struggling with Wonderful

The fact that it's Monday and it's rained all day doesn't help.

The fact that nearly every social media post and every news report on television screams a reminder of the horrific tragedy last Friday in Connecticut.

The fact that my husband steps into a public school everyday and works with middle schoolers, often undisciplined, unstable, unpredictable middle schoolers.

The fact that my uncle remains in the hospital after a week's stay, fighting for his life and facing surgery tomorrow from a staph infection, finally identified and located in his spine.

The fact that days before Christmas, my friend's young son, also waits in the hospital, recovering from serious surgery following his year-long battle with bone cancer.

The fact that another dear friend is nursing her husband back to health after his near-death accident, falling 24 feet, head-first off a ladder, onto a concrete driveway.  Never did my friend expect hanging a wreath above a garage would lead to her husband's jaw being wired shut, missing teeth, broken bones, and a near loss of his life.

The fact that another friend's desperate wish to have her adopted son home from India before Christmas appears to be dimming.

The fact that I know of three precious women, newly and unexpectedly widowed this Christmas, facing the days and traditions ahead without their husbands, alone.

The fact that I continue to read from organizations about more children being taken, tortured and trafficked against their will, every hour, here and across the globe.

The fact that so many of my friends and family members have succumbed to seasonal illnesses such as the flu and stomach bugs.

And finally, the fact that in one day we seem to be losing light in our house--with a third of the Christmas lights on one of our trees burned out and two prominent lamps' bulbs as well.

Staring at the tree and the lamps, I can't help but feel the same.  A little less shiny.  A little less bright.  Struggling to stay lit, fighting against the darkness.  Dimming in the midst of today.

On the radio, Christmas carols play.  One in particular catches my attention.  The tune is popular and inviting.  But today, I struggle with the lyrics, meaning what I sing.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year..."

Is it?  Wonderful?  Isn't it supposed to be? 

So, why is it so hard to believe this week, particularly in light of recent events?  Especially in such darkness?

My pastor asked this question of us yesterday, "How does God respond to darkness?" 

His answer: "Jesus". 

Why?  Because He's the Light of the world.  And light always threatens darkness.

Jesus.  Immanuel, "God with us".  He was here thousands of years ago because we needed Him then. He's here today because we need Him now.  Desperately need Him now.

In this dark world, we still have the chance to be brighter.  Brighter than the evil and uncertainty that surrounds us. 

"...declaring the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light." 

1 Peter 2:9

So, today I go back to the prophecy of Scripture.  I exchange my struggling thoughts and struggling questions to Someone who can counsel me.

Not just any counselor.  A Wonderful Counselor. 

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.  And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Isaiah 9:6

He is wonderful when the world is not.  His wonderful act of coming to us, rescuing us from the darkness of our sin, gave us the light of life.  And because of Him, we are given a wonderful life.  Forever.

Focusing on that truth, celebrating His wonderful acts and wonderful works on our behalf, reminds me what this season truly is...the most wonderful time of the year. 

Two in One

Today's post...a short, but oh, so very sweet update!

We got two AMAZING pieces of news regarding the adoption in just one week's time.

1.  We were given word that the Promise686 adoption grant we'd applied for back in early November had been awarded to us!  This matching grant is substantial and will help us TREMENDOUSLY as we work toward finalizing the necessary financial obligations in this process.

(Promise686 is a new non-profit ministry dedicated to serving the needs of “the fatherless” both here and abroad. They are committed to inspiring and equipping families in the North Atlanta area to foster and adopt with the goal of placing children in loving, permanent, Christian homes. They believe this is God’s heart and have taken the name for this ministry from the promise found in Psalms 68:6a.

“God sets the lonely in families…”

 

God is already about this work, and they desire to join him in this by assisting families through community support, financial assistance and education.)

Thank you, Promise686 for your overwhelmingly generous gift!

2.  Next, our agency emailed us to let us know that CARA (governing agency in India pertaining to all things adoption) has finally matched us with an orphanage! 

After waiting a little over two months, we know the city!  That's big news, people! 

Next step in the process...waiting for the referral.  Basically, the referral is when the orphanage takes our homestudy and dossier (tons of detailed information about our family) and matches us with a child based upon that information.  No timeline regarding when this will happen, so we wait patiently until it comes to pass.

For now, we are reveling after receiving two GINORMOUS pieces of good news in just one week. 

Thank you for praying faithfully.  Your prayers have helped to move two big mountains this week!