Sunday's Coming, but Today is Friday

I know Sunday is coming.

But today is Friday.

Even though my lips would rather sing and rejoice, my soul must mourn and grieve.

I remember Jesus.

Eating His last meal.
Breaking the bread.
Pouring the wine.
Instructing them to remember Him.
Washing their feet.
Being betrayed.
Agonizing in prayer.
Arrested in the night.
Accused, beaten, bloodied.

Before I can celebrate His resurrection, I have to consider His death.

His brutal, necessary death.  On that infamous cross.

Every morning I wake up, I see this on my bedroom wall.

Every morning it reminds me I live because Jesus died. 
For me, for you.  To save us sinners from ourselves.

Not on a fancy, scrolly, ornate cross, but a massive, splintered tool of execution.

The encompassing darkness of death. Then...the illuminating light of eternal life.
Temporary, hushed hopelessness.  Then...the resounding promise of forever.
Significant, remarkable loss.  Then...triumphant, victorious gain.
The weight of unbearable agony.  Then...the weight of unparalleled glory.

Don't run ahead.  Go there. 
Sit in the horror-filled, blackness of Friday. 

Ponder the Lamb led to slaughter. 
Marvel at the humble obedience to His Father. 
Be engulfed.  Be overwhelmed by His relentless, persistent love.

Yes! Praise the Father that Sunday's coming. 

 

But today... 

Today is Friday.

Brunch with a Super Model

Yep.  I did.  I ate chicken-salad croissants and muffins and fruit with a super model yesterday.

But I'll get back to that in just a minute...

If you happened to read this post back in February, Tea, My First-Born and Me, then you already know I have been going through the Secret Keeper Girl book, 8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters, with my oldest, Grace.

When I wrote that post, we'd only been out on our first date.  Our intention from the start was to go on one special date per month, leading up to Grace's 10th birthday in October.  Amazingly, I can say we've done just that!  So, date #7 was slated for the month of August. (I know, I know.  I need to go back and post about dates #2-6...) 

With the start of school and other responsibilities, I confess I'd not given this month's date all that much thought.  I knew the suggested activity was for me to take Grace to a hair salon and allow her to get a new "do".  But we'd just done that last month--not because it was fun, but because girlfriend desperately needed a haircut.

A couple weeks ago, our church announced an upcoming women's event: a brunch and a guest speaker.  The scheduled guest speaker was Kylie Bisutti.  Don't know the name?  Neither did I at first.  Let me introduce you to her.

Kylie is a former Victoria Secret's model turned role model who’s written a book entitled, I’m No Angel. 

By His grace, God rescued Kylie from a destructive industry and set her onto a path to give Him glory through her story when she chose to walk away from it all.  The fame.  The notoriety.  The money.  All of it.

Today, Kylie is 23 years old, married, and expecting her first child.  From my limited observation, she is a quiet, humble young woman whose heart still breaks when she speaks of her intense struggles for affirmation and attention during her modeling career. 

Now, she feels compelled to help young girls (and women) see and shatter the illusion the enemy presents in the form of worldly beauty and acceptance.

When I first heard about the women's event and the speaker, I must confess, I wasn't keen on the idea.  For several reasons, I just wasn't.  I couldn't figure out how Kylie's story of walking away from the fashion world would intersect with my life today.  I mean, what on earth could a stay-at-home, homeschooling mama possibly have in common with a super model?  No. I couldn't see the connection, but I decided to go anyway.

Then several of my mama friends mentioned they were bringing their daughters to hear Kylie speak.  I asked Grace if she wanted to come and she did. 

 

A couple days before the brunch, I looked back over date #7 and noticed the title, "Internal Fashion".  The premise of date #7 was the emphasis on inner beauty.  Paying more attention to what our hearts are wearing on the inside versus what we're wearing on the outside.  With submission being the main focus.

The author, Dannah Gresh, describes submission (that often misunderstood word in our society) as "allowing someone else to lead you."

The more I read the chapter on date #7 and armed with what I already knew of Kylie's story, I thought, "Hmm...I think I'll let this brunch fulfill our date for the month."  I had no idea how much it would do just that.

As she spoke to a room filled with about 400 females, I listened as Kylie shared her heart.  She spoke about the ungodly things she did and then how God’s kindness led her to repentance.  I heard her say (without actually saying) how she learned to submit to God, allowing Him to clothe her with strength and dignity, good deeds, and the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. 

Afterwards, I had the privilege of relating those observations to my daughter.  No, we didn’t make it to the hair salon today as instructed in date #7, but we heard and saw a living testimony of submission.  A gorgeous girl with an even more gorgeous soul, telling and showing what true beauty is.  An example of modesty, renewed purity and redemption.

I spoke with Kylie when the brunch was over and nearly everyone else had left.  I asked her if she'd ever heard of Secret Keeper Girl.  She had not, but seemed genuinely interested in knowing more about it.  Briefly, I went on to explain about the ministry and my love for it. 

I told her I felt Secret Keeper Girl might really like her message.  She was very intrigued and told me she would definitely look them up.  Then, before I walked away, I encouraged her with the fact that she never knows what God's plans could be for her and what platform He might present to her next.  Maybe working on the Secret Keeper Girl team???
 

 

How awesome would it be if Kylie's path and Secret Keeper Girls' paths intersected?  I feel her heart’s message, the message of true beauty and modesty, resonates with theirs.  She wants to be a positive role model now and help as many young girls as she can.  I believe young girls might really respond to seeing a young, beautiful, successful model who left the fashion industry tell them what God really thinks about beauty. 

 

Don't you agree?

 

I believe Kylie is a treasure in the kingdom of God and He’s using her in amazing ways with this generation of young girls. 

 

And how awesome would it be for her to exchange one kind of secret for another?

From Victoria's Secret to Secret Keeper Girl.

 

I believe in this so much that I actually typed out a two-page letter on behalf of Kylie and sent it to Dannah Gresh.  I know.  Completely crazy, right?  (Now pray Dannah will actually receive it and read it!)

 

I've never done anything like that before in my life.  But after sitting next to Kylie at the table and listening to her share her heart as my friend interviewed her on stage, I was compelled to do so. 

I saw God's child.  And someone's daughter whom I could have easily taught in first grade back in the day.  And a young woman who's seen and experienced much darkness in her few years.  And a wife and mom-to-be now basking in Christ's light and favor shining around her.
 

So I guess I was wrong...again.  Kylie's story did, in fact, intersect with my life.  Just not in any way I thought it would.  But only God could do that.  And I'm glad He did. 
 

Struggling with Wonderful

The fact that it's Monday and it's rained all day doesn't help.

The fact that nearly every social media post and every news report on television screams a reminder of the horrific tragedy last Friday in Connecticut.

The fact that my husband steps into a public school everyday and works with middle schoolers, often undisciplined, unstable, unpredictable middle schoolers.

The fact that my uncle remains in the hospital after a week's stay, fighting for his life and facing surgery tomorrow from a staph infection, finally identified and located in his spine.

The fact that days before Christmas, my friend's young son, also waits in the hospital, recovering from serious surgery following his year-long battle with bone cancer.

The fact that another dear friend is nursing her husband back to health after his near-death accident, falling 24 feet, head-first off a ladder, onto a concrete driveway.  Never did my friend expect hanging a wreath above a garage would lead to her husband's jaw being wired shut, missing teeth, broken bones, and a near loss of his life.

The fact that another friend's desperate wish to have her adopted son home from India before Christmas appears to be dimming.

The fact that I know of three precious women, newly and unexpectedly widowed this Christmas, facing the days and traditions ahead without their husbands, alone.

The fact that I continue to read from organizations about more children being taken, tortured and trafficked against their will, every hour, here and across the globe.

The fact that so many of my friends and family members have succumbed to seasonal illnesses such as the flu and stomach bugs.

And finally, the fact that in one day we seem to be losing light in our house--with a third of the Christmas lights on one of our trees burned out and two prominent lamps' bulbs as well.

Staring at the tree and the lamps, I can't help but feel the same.  A little less shiny.  A little less bright.  Struggling to stay lit, fighting against the darkness.  Dimming in the midst of today.

On the radio, Christmas carols play.  One in particular catches my attention.  The tune is popular and inviting.  But today, I struggle with the lyrics, meaning what I sing.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year..."

Is it?  Wonderful?  Isn't it supposed to be? 

So, why is it so hard to believe this week, particularly in light of recent events?  Especially in such darkness?

My pastor asked this question of us yesterday, "How does God respond to darkness?" 

His answer: "Jesus". 

Why?  Because He's the Light of the world.  And light always threatens darkness.

Jesus.  Immanuel, "God with us".  He was here thousands of years ago because we needed Him then. He's here today because we need Him now.  Desperately need Him now.

In this dark world, we still have the chance to be brighter.  Brighter than the evil and uncertainty that surrounds us. 

"...declaring the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light." 

1 Peter 2:9

So, today I go back to the prophecy of Scripture.  I exchange my struggling thoughts and struggling questions to Someone who can counsel me.

Not just any counselor.  A Wonderful Counselor. 

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.  And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Isaiah 9:6

He is wonderful when the world is not.  His wonderful act of coming to us, rescuing us from the darkness of our sin, gave us the light of life.  And because of Him, we are given a wonderful life.  Forever.

Focusing on that truth, celebrating His wonderful acts and wonderful works on our behalf, reminds me what this season truly is...the most wonderful time of the year. 

Coming Soon

For the last four weeks, our family has been participating in something we've never done before.  We've been observing Advent. 

Neither my husband, nor I, grew up celebrating Advent.  Neither of us were familiar with its traditions or meaning.  Though I'd read of other families who observed Advent and had even seen an Advent candle wreath in a church, I had no prior knowledge of what the season truly meant. 

This year I had to know.  I had to know its meanings and why so many observed it.  What I discovered and what I have experienced has changed me.  Forever. 

The word, "Advent" means "coming".  During the season of Advent, which typically begins four Sundays before Christmas and ends on Christmas Eve, we are reminded of our desperate need for a Savior. 

As we are celebrating His first "coming", as a baby in Bethlehem, we are also looking forward to His second "coming", as our Righteous King from heaven. 

Advent, as I am learning, is also all about waiting.  And nobody likes to wait.  We all want what we want when we want it.  Now.  Or maybe even yesterday.

Advent reminds us of how long the ancient Jews had to wait for their promised Messiah.  How they yearned for Someone to deliver them.  To heal them.  To redeem them.  To make all things new.

As they waited, they endured.  They endured even though they couldn't always see what God was doing.  They trusted.  They hoped.  They believed, all while they waited. 

It's the same thing for us today. 

We wait.  We endure.  We look ahead, and above, for the promise of Christ's return.  We wait with great expectation.  We hope for what we cannot see.  And in the waiting we are changed.  We become even more grateful for all gifts when they are finally received.

Focusing on the hope of Christ's coming is helping our family to slow down and remember how great His gift truly is. 

Each night as we come together to read the Advent devotions from Ann Voskamp's "Jesse Tree Journey", we are taken back through the holy scriptures.  We journey through Old Testament accounts and find significant meaning and prophetic connections to the One who came two thousand years ago. 

And because He came, we can come. 

We can come boldly and freely to His throne of grace.  (Heb. 4:16)
We can come to Him and never go hungry.  (John 6:35)
We can come, thirsty, and take the free gift of water of life.  (Rev. 22:17)
We can come take our inheritance, the kingdom which was promised for us since the creation of the world.  (Matt. 25:34)
We can come out of our boat as Peter did and walk on water.  (Matt. 14:28-29)
We can come and follow Him, becoming fishers of men.  (Mark 1:17)
We can come to Him when we are weary and burdened down with life.  (Matt. 11:28)
And our little children can come, too, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as them.
(Matt. 19:14)

He extends His invitation to us to come.  To come worship Him.  To come bow down Him.  To adore Him, Emmanuel, this Christmas.

If He never came, then we could not come.

Thank You, Jesus, for coming.  Thank You for Advent.  Thank You for the chance to focus on You.  Thank You for the chance to celebrate Christmas with more meaning and more depth.  I needed it.

"He who testifies to these things says, 'Yes, I am coming soon.' 

Amen.  Come, Lord Jesus." (Rev. 22:20)

Light It Up

The blinking, strobe-like lights nearly blinded us inside our dark car. 

Every time they kicked their little feet together, a myriad of colorful lights illuminated the blackness surrounding us.  The girls were amazed and easily entertained with their new shoes.  Especially at night.   

The first time they tried them on, though, was in the middle of the afternoon.  Daylight covered the room, making it difficult to see their new shoes do what they were promised to do.  Our advice to them:  Go find some darkness and light it up. 

They raced to the bathroom.  Lights off.  Door closed.  Pitch black.  Each time they stomped their feet, jumped up and down, or took a step, the room lit up.  The path was made clear in front of them and they could see where they were going.

Four years ago to the date, I found myself in a very dark place. 

Stumbling around, trying to find my way, blinded by the eclipse that surrounded my heart, spirit and mind.

For whatever reason, this mammoth black cloud had descended upon me and I could not see.

Could not feel.  Could not breathe.  As much as I tried, I could not, for the life of me, catch even a shimmer of light because of the cloud's looming presence.

As the days passed, I became more and more desperate for light to return to my little world.

I tried to pray.  I tried to read.  I felt alone.  I felt numb. 

Then one day, I decided to write out every scripture I could find pertaining to light.  When I finally finished, a long list of truths stared back at me.  A multitude of promises from the Light of the world Himself.  He, who merely spoke the words, "Let there be light" and radiance ruptured the darkness, inviting Creation to come forth. 

As I sat on the sofa in the stillness of a cold, December morning, I gazed at the white lights covering our Christmas tree and prayed. 

I asked the Lord to send forth His light and His truth to guide me (Ps.43:3).
I asked that the darkness would pass and the true Light would shine (1 John 2:8).
Above all, I asked Him to turn my darkness into light (Ps. 18:28).

Piercing light shattered the darkness above me, ripping off the cloak of heaviness and replacing it with His garment of light (Ps. 104:2). 

Out of the brightness of His presence, the clouds advanced (Ps. 18:12) and I could see.  Clearly.  The burden lifted and my vision was restored.

This is the season of lights.   Lots of lights.  Everywhere. They cover all three of our Christmas trees. They are intertwined around the greenery draped across my fireplace mantle. They encircle the columns on my porch outside.   Every time we plug them in, the darkness is pierced by the warmth of the lights.

We, who like Saul on the road to Damascus, have been blinded by the bright love of Christ are witnesses to the true Light who came into the world as a baby thousands of years ago.  As we follow Him, He promises we will never walk in darkness, but have the light of life (John 8:12).

There may be many this Christmas season who are not basking in the light of the Son.  For whatever reason, self-inflicted or otherwise, they have found themselves groping around in the darkness, cold and alone.  They are desperate to find the light at the end of the tunnel, promising the hope of something better ahead. 

They need to see and know, so they can put their trust in the Light. 

But they may only be able to do so when we go find some darkness and light it up.