Brunch with a Super Model

Yep.  I did.  I ate chicken-salad croissants and muffins and fruit with a super model yesterday.

But I'll get back to that in just a minute...

If you happened to read this post back in February, Tea, My First-Born and Me, then you already know I have been going through the Secret Keeper Girl book, 8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters, with my oldest, Grace.

When I wrote that post, we'd only been out on our first date.  Our intention from the start was to go on one special date per month, leading up to Grace's 10th birthday in October.  Amazingly, I can say we've done just that!  So, date #7 was slated for the month of August. (I know, I know.  I need to go back and post about dates #2-6...) 

With the start of school and other responsibilities, I confess I'd not given this month's date all that much thought.  I knew the suggested activity was for me to take Grace to a hair salon and allow her to get a new "do".  But we'd just done that last month--not because it was fun, but because girlfriend desperately needed a haircut.

A couple weeks ago, our church announced an upcoming women's event: a brunch and a guest speaker.  The scheduled guest speaker was Kylie Bisutti.  Don't know the name?  Neither did I at first.  Let me introduce you to her.

Kylie is a former Victoria Secret's model turned role model who’s written a book entitled, I’m No Angel. 

By His grace, God rescued Kylie from a destructive industry and set her onto a path to give Him glory through her story when she chose to walk away from it all.  The fame.  The notoriety.  The money.  All of it.

Today, Kylie is 23 years old, married, and expecting her first child.  From my limited observation, she is a quiet, humble young woman whose heart still breaks when she speaks of her intense struggles for affirmation and attention during her modeling career. 

Now, she feels compelled to help young girls (and women) see and shatter the illusion the enemy presents in the form of worldly beauty and acceptance.

When I first heard about the women's event and the speaker, I must confess, I wasn't keen on the idea.  For several reasons, I just wasn't.  I couldn't figure out how Kylie's story of walking away from the fashion world would intersect with my life today.  I mean, what on earth could a stay-at-home, homeschooling mama possibly have in common with a super model?  No. I couldn't see the connection, but I decided to go anyway.

Then several of my mama friends mentioned they were bringing their daughters to hear Kylie speak.  I asked Grace if she wanted to come and she did. 

 

A couple days before the brunch, I looked back over date #7 and noticed the title, "Internal Fashion".  The premise of date #7 was the emphasis on inner beauty.  Paying more attention to what our hearts are wearing on the inside versus what we're wearing on the outside.  With submission being the main focus.

The author, Dannah Gresh, describes submission (that often misunderstood word in our society) as "allowing someone else to lead you."

The more I read the chapter on date #7 and armed with what I already knew of Kylie's story, I thought, "Hmm...I think I'll let this brunch fulfill our date for the month."  I had no idea how much it would do just that.

As she spoke to a room filled with about 400 females, I listened as Kylie shared her heart.  She spoke about the ungodly things she did and then how God’s kindness led her to repentance.  I heard her say (without actually saying) how she learned to submit to God, allowing Him to clothe her with strength and dignity, good deeds, and the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. 

Afterwards, I had the privilege of relating those observations to my daughter.  No, we didn’t make it to the hair salon today as instructed in date #7, but we heard and saw a living testimony of submission.  A gorgeous girl with an even more gorgeous soul, telling and showing what true beauty is.  An example of modesty, renewed purity and redemption.

I spoke with Kylie when the brunch was over and nearly everyone else had left.  I asked her if she'd ever heard of Secret Keeper Girl.  She had not, but seemed genuinely interested in knowing more about it.  Briefly, I went on to explain about the ministry and my love for it. 

I told her I felt Secret Keeper Girl might really like her message.  She was very intrigued and told me she would definitely look them up.  Then, before I walked away, I encouraged her with the fact that she never knows what God's plans could be for her and what platform He might present to her next.  Maybe working on the Secret Keeper Girl team???
 

 

How awesome would it be if Kylie's path and Secret Keeper Girls' paths intersected?  I feel her heart’s message, the message of true beauty and modesty, resonates with theirs.  She wants to be a positive role model now and help as many young girls as she can.  I believe young girls might really respond to seeing a young, beautiful, successful model who left the fashion industry tell them what God really thinks about beauty. 

 

Don't you agree?

 

I believe Kylie is a treasure in the kingdom of God and He’s using her in amazing ways with this generation of young girls. 

 

And how awesome would it be for her to exchange one kind of secret for another?

From Victoria's Secret to Secret Keeper Girl.

 

I believe in this so much that I actually typed out a two-page letter on behalf of Kylie and sent it to Dannah Gresh.  I know.  Completely crazy, right?  (Now pray Dannah will actually receive it and read it!)

 

I've never done anything like that before in my life.  But after sitting next to Kylie at the table and listening to her share her heart as my friend interviewed her on stage, I was compelled to do so. 

I saw God's child.  And someone's daughter whom I could have easily taught in first grade back in the day.  And a young woman who's seen and experienced much darkness in her few years.  And a wife and mom-to-be now basking in Christ's light and favor shining around her.
 

So I guess I was wrong...again.  Kylie's story did, in fact, intersect with my life.  Just not in any way I thought it would.  But only God could do that.  And I'm glad He did. 
 

Tea, My First-Born and Me

 

"So that's why Daddy calls you his teacup!" exclaimed my nine-year old, Grace, sitting next to me on our first mommy-daughter date.

I had just finished displaying and describing these three items to her, according to author, speaker, and founder of Secret Keeper Girls, Dannah Gresh and it suddenly clicked.

The paper cup.  The ceramic mug.  The china teacup.

Twelve years earlier, I'd shared nearly the exact same object lesson with a group of teenage girls during a series on sexual purity in our home using Dannah's book, And the Bride Wore White.  Now I found myself revisiting these questions and these truths with my first-born after beginning another one of Dannah's book, 8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters.

Back then and today, the message remains the same:  Be governed by your value. 

How do you see yourself?  How do others see you?

In your relationship with your mom and dad?
In the way you treat people? Your friends? Your siblings?
With your time with God?
Concerning the clothes you choose to wear?  The clothes you'd like to wear?
With the way you care for your body?
With the words you speak?
With the movies or television shows you watch? 
With the books you read? 
With the music you listen to?
By the images you view on the Internet?  Etc.

Are your actions or choices similar to a disposable, trashable, Styrofoam or paper cup?   
Or an ordinary, everyday, easily-replaceable ceramic mug? 
Or the highly-valued, highly-treasured, priceless, china teacup?

We made our way down the lists, discussing and evaluating ourselves honestly to each other.

But this was only one part of our time together.  Time, prior to the Secret Keeper Event last month, I was unaware we needed.

Two months ago, when I asked a group of moms and their daughters (ages 8-12) to join Grace and me at the Secret Keeper Girls Pajama Party in Atlanta, I had a feeling it would be an uniquely memorable time for us all.  And the event did not disappoint. 

We had so much fun.  We sang songs.  We danced.  We saw a modesty fashion show.  We ate sweets.  We played games.  We spent time together as moms and daughters.  We prayed together.  And we learned what God has to say about us in His Word.  It was the ultimate "girl world" pajama party.

During the break, Grace wanted to walk around and look at the merchandise table.   Out of all the books, the keepsakes, and other items they were selling, Grace zeroed in on the book, 8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters.  

I didn't buy it that night, but ordered it online later after she mentioned it again.  I couldn't believe her excitement when it finally arrived on our doorstep.  And also a week later, when she saw the book sitting (unread) on my nightstand and asked, "Mom, when are we going to start this?!?"

I homeschool both of my girls, therefore I am with them all day. Every breakfast. Every lunch. Every snack. Every dinner. Every high. Every low. I see it all and live through it all. All day. Everyday.

I read to them. I talk to them. I spend time with them. Lots of time. All the time. With them.

But what I was hearing from Grace's heart was a desire to be with me.  Just me.  And as much as she loves her, no little sister.  No school.  Just her and me doing fun girl stuff.  My girl was craving some quality time. 

I knew this was something she really wanted and really needed.  I also knew it would take some intentional effort on my part.  But spurred on by her excitement, I read the book, did a little research,and organized our first official mother-daughter date. 

The suggested location from the book was a tearoom.  I had a couple of options, but based on some recommendations by friends, I chose a local establishment called Cafe 313, which we'd never been to before.  It turned out to be the perfect place for us and for our date.  We drank lemonade (since neither of us wanted tea) from our own china teacups and saucers brought from home, had a delicious lunch and ate some of the finest desserts we'd ever tasted. 

Notice the teacups on the wall?  Perfect setting for our date!

Name is based upon Ecclesiastes 3:13. Love it. :)

From the beginning I could tell Grace felt special and pampered.  It was just us, having some girl gab time, talking about things concerning beauty, modesty and fashion which her five-year old sister isn't quite ready to discuss. 

We weren't rushed.  We weren't interrupted.  We weren't distracted.  I needed to hear her heart and she got to hear mine.  It was sweet.

Grace will be turning ten later this year and will be deemed a "tween" by today's world.  She will find herself caught in that stage between being a little girl and emerging into a full-blown teenager.  Mercy.

Life gets trickier for her as she learns to navigate these waters and I don't want her to cave to the pressures of this world by growing up too quickly.  I want to be there for her.  I want to maintain a close connection with her. I want to know her and reassure her of her true identity in the One who created her and adores her. 

No, a mom does not have to buy this book or go on eight dates with her daughter to know her and be a stable, supportive role in her daughter's life.  But my daughter wants this time and I need it, too.  This experience has motivated me to be intentional, resourceful and creative. And that is a good, good thing for this preoccupied mama!

We have seven specific dates left (think facials, art gallery, shopping and more).  Each date has a specific theme, sure to make some special memories, which is why we bought a special scrapbook in which to record them all.  Our plan is to go on one date each month, leading up to Grace's big double-digit birthday. 

Then, in about three to four years, I'll get to do it all over again with my sweet girl, Gloria.  And then again with our youngest daughter, a little brown-skinned Indian treasure who'll be in our family one day soon.  Hopefully.

Maybe I should write my own book at that time, since I am bound to be a rock star at mastering these mommy-daughter dates with each of my little teacups in training.  :)

How do you know someone had a good time?
When they repeatedly tell you, "Thanks, Mom!"