Principles of (Happy) Moms Who Home Educate

I stumbled upon this list on another blog I was reading a few days ago and instantly fell in love.

Because when you've reached the halfway point in your school year and when you've been all bundled up trying to stay warm and disliking January (VERY MUCH) and you find this list which picks you up and simultaneously kicks your butt into remembering the most important things about why you do what you do, then yes, you share it.

You share it with yourself on your own blog so you will never forget the beautiful, rest-filled, peaceful, grace-filled reminders, but also, maybe, you share it for any of your fellow homeschooling mama friends (or friends considering homeschooling) who may need the encouragement as well.

Principles of (Happy) Moms Who Home Educate:

* God is in control of our family’s home education. 

* Home education is a portion of my full vocation as wife and mother. Keep it proportionate.

* Home education, when done from love and humility, is a steady path to sanctity and heaven.

* Home education is primarily a way of life, not an alternative to school.

* My husband is objectively the spiritual head of our household, the spiritual director of our home education.

* All home education decisions are prudential between husband, wife, and God. Leave the neighbors out of it.

* Homeschooling is mostly joyful and right. It is also hard work worth doing and involves purposeful suffering.

* Anxiety and worry are not an inevitable part of home education or an outward sign of hard work. They are signs to re-group.

* Burn-out is preventable.

* There is no perfect curriculum (self-designed or prepackaged.) Perfect is the enemy of the good. Be content with good enough. (Good enough does not justify sloth which is not good enough. Know when to realize that any additional effort toward improvement would result in a negligible improvement, especially in comparison to the effort required to gain it.)

* Plan primarily based on the truth about Mom, playing to my strengths, secondarily on the needs of the family as a whole, thirdly on the individual needs of each child, playing to their strengths.

* Emphasize character formation for all, especially formation that increases family harmony and independent decision-making. 

* Academic achievement is over-rated.

* Focus on today.

* Progress is not linear and best gauged over time.

* We’re never behind. We’re exactly where God wants us. We entrust the past to God’s Divine Mercy and the future to His Divine Providence. 

* Saints do not compare themselves to their neighbors because they keep their eyes fixed upon God.

* Delegate out of humility.

* Know when to take a break to refresh and renew.

* Know what I need to feel comfortable in my home. Prioritize maintaining a basic level of order.

* Discussion counts as an invaluable learning and teaching tool. 

* Mastery takes time, for student and educator.

* Laughter is good, even when it needs to be redirected.

* Academic standards are arbitrary.

* Time spent on curriculum planning is time not spent on other things.

* Money spent on curriculum is money not spent on other things.

* A sense of humor lightens our load.

* Enthusiasm is contagious.

* Enthusiasm enhances motivation and engagement.

* Engagement and practice increases retention. 

"Entrusting the past to God’s Divine Mercy and the future to His Divine Providence..."
And grateful that God has a giant one of these set aside for each of us on any given day...

Our Family's Best of 2014

Since I posted our family's best and most memorable events here last year, I thought I'd do another year-end recap from 2014...

Presenting the top 11 (because we couldn't agree on just 10) highlight reel from 2014 from our family:

11. Community, growth and service

Derek and I opened our home again this year to two different small groups, one in the spring and a different one this past fall.  We loved having all the couples over each Sunday night to discuss, pray and laugh together.  With the other small groups from our church, we journeyed through two different books, Joseph by Charles Swindoll and Families Where Grace is in Place by Jeff Van Vonderen.  Both were excellent and challenging reads.  So grateful for the camaraderie we experienced both semesters.

Tacky sweater Christmas party!

 

In August, Derek and I began serving in Kids Crossing at our church each Sunday morning.  We are the hosts for large group, which means we have scripts and scripture we have to memorize and teach each week.  Though we're certainly not actors, the teachers in us sure have enjoyed working together and engaging with the kids in this way! 

A few months ago, during the second service, Grace started helping in the kindergarten class, using her gifts of patience, teaching and love for children.  Also, both girls have been a part of the Kids Worship Team this year.  Each month they learn new songs and then lead worship in Kids Crossing on their designated Sunday.  It has blessed our hearts watching them sing and dance for Jesus from backstage!

10. Technology conference at the University of Texas in Austin

While Derek attended classes and seminars during the mornings and afternoons, I spent three hot, July days resting, reading, working out and staying poolside.  Yes, I was a lucky girl, indeed!  In the evenings, we explored the eclectic city of Austin in our cute little rental car, enjoyed dinner out and even went shopping for boots.  Because when in Rome...or Texas...

9. Ended 3rd year of homeschooling; began 4th term here at Fort Academy

Our curriculum left us in Ancient Greece back in May and in August, we began our history lessons with Ancient Rome. 

Field trip to Rome, Georgia, to see Romulus and Remus,
founders of Ancient Rome as legend tells it.

The girls are currently in 2nd and 5th grades this year and doing exceptionally well.  Just like any other classroom, with any other teacher, and with any other students, we have great days and on occasion, we have a few not-so-great days.  That's just life.  (Especially life spent teaching your own flesh and blood, day in and day out. ;))  We've all learned so much, but I've most certainly learned the most.  Very thankful for the second education I'm getting this go-around and very thankful for all the time I get to spend with my girls!

8.  Field trip to Kentucky and Ohio

As an extension of having gone through the Old Testament last school year, we took a road trip to the Creation Museum in northern Kentucky over spring break in April.  We also traveled to the Cincinnati Zoo and then into Indiana, just so the girls could color one more state on their map. :) On the way home, we made a quick stop in Louisville at Churchill Downs and let the girls see where the Kentucky Derby is run each spring. 

 

7.  Gymnastics & softball

In January of this year, both girls began going to gymnastics one hour, once a week at a local gymnastics center.  During the summer, they became part of a team, the Gym Stars, and are now at the gym two hours a day, two days a week.  They have had two mini/mock meets so far and also had the chance to march in the local Christmas parade with their gym.  They will begin meets in March and are very excited to have a small taste of competition.  We are shocked at how many skills both of them have gained this year, but mostly at how strong they both have become.  And I have to say they probably spend more time on their hands than their feet nowadays!

Gloria played another season of 6U softball this past spring and Derek coached her team again.  I sure hope we never stop loving being on the ballfield!

 

6.  Beach trip to Destin, Florida

It had been five years, but in September all four of us were able to go to the beach together and we couldn't have asked for a better trip.  Well...except for the last morning there.  But since I wrote about that here in my last post, I'll move ahead to the next one...

 

5. Camping in our new tent

Never say never.  Because I said I'd never sleep in a tent.  I said I'd never go camping in a tent.  But when you're family wants to try it, you give in or get left out.  So...we bought a tent (and a whole bunch of other camping supplies) and went camping in October, tent style.  And after three days snuggled up in sleeping bags, on cots, out in the great outdoors, it wasn't bad.  As a matter of fact, I could even say, it was fun, because well...it was fun.  So much so, that we just might pack up house and home and try it again in 2015. :)

 

4. Trip to New York

Anthony, my friend's husband, called in late September to let me know of his big birthday plans for his wife, Terri. She would be turning 40 in November and had always wanted to see the Broadway show, "Wicked". Terri's husband wanted to surprise her with a trip to NYC to see the show. Derek and Anthony started having conversations about the trip, how it would be even more fun if we were able to join them in the celebration, especially since the three of us had all just turned 40 within the last few months. The two of them began planning, scheduling, and making reservations for all of four of us to go.  We were successfully able to keep the entire trip a complete secret for nearly six weeks! Terri was beyond surprised when they arrived in NYC and we were already at the hotel waiting for them.  The four of us had an amazing time; it will definitely go down as one of the all-time, best vacations we've ever had!



The suckers may say, "40 sucks", but our trip to NYC sure didn't!

3.  Derek's technology conference in Orlando...and Disney World!

During the last week in January, Derek had his first technology conference of the year in Orlando.  We decided to take the whole family down earlier than his conference and enjoy a few days at Disney World.  Derek and I managed to keep our plans a total surprise for the girls.  They only thought we were going to hang out at a hotel for three days, doing school, swimming, etc. while Dad went to his sessions.  They had no idea where we were headed and all the plans we'd made. 

All of our secret planning paid off in a huge way when, shortly after 10:00pm, we approached the infamous "Welcome to Disney World" sign before entering the Disney resorts.  The girls were shocked, totally and completely surprised.  There were tears, and smiles, shrieks, and laughter.  All the emotions we'd hope we'd see, we saw late that night in the car.  When the week was over, we wound up having the most magical time (of course we did...it's Disney!), including meeting Elsa and Anna, which clinched the entire trip for them.  Here's to hoping Derek goes back to another conference in Orlando very soon!

2.  Our "over the hill" birthdays

Big year for us celebrating our big 4-0's!

 

1.  My brother is cancer-free!

In mid-January of this past year, my younger brother called with devastating news.  He had cancer, Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  For six months, every other week, he received his prescribed dose of chemotherapy.  He got sick.  He lost some weight.  He lost some hair.  But never, not that I ever saw, did he lose his fighting spirit.  Now, I'm sure he had some very difficult moments, like when he caught a stomach virus while his immune system was compromised which put him in the hospital because he was deathly ill.  And I'm sure there were others behind closed doors, but even then, he always seemed to maintain hope, bravery and positivity in the midst of it all. 

In June, when his last chemo session was all said and done, and his scans came back "normal", we celebrated.  We celebrated because not only did God walk through those stressful, hard months with my brother, his wife and our family and friends, but He chose, in His sovereign kindness, to heal my brother.  And for that reason alone, we celebrated.  And we still celebrate.  Without a doubt, the best thing that happened in our family during 2014 is that my brother is healthy and well.

He's the man!

For all our family has been extremely fortunate to do this year, we are grateful.  We are grateful for the opportunities to travel and the experiences we've had together.  As we look ahead, I thought this quote which one of my favorite comedians posted on Facebook sums up how I feel about the upcoming year:

"Hey 2015 - I see you waiting there. 

I reach out confidently to shake your hand because

I know Who goes before me and

Who is for me

and Whose I am."

~ Anita Renfroe

Happy 2015 to you all!

Unless...

I love all things "Back to School".  Always have.

As a child of the 80's, the highlight for me during this time was going to pick out my cool, velcro-flapped Trapper Keeper for the new school year.  And I couldn't wait to get my hands on the sales flyer from the local drug store so I could circle e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g I needed and then beg my parents to take me there before it was all gone. 

I think I actually had this very one...

Just ask my dad.  He and I have had a running joke about school supplies for years now.  As a matter of fact, here was our conversation via text a few days ago...

Dad:  School supplies are out! LOL.
Me:   Ha! Oh, yes, I know!  Already bought everything we need for this next year! Big surprise, right?
Dad:  No surprise. Love you.

I was the elementary school kid who cried when school was over in June and rejoiced when it started back again in the fall.  That was me.  #schoolgeek

When I taught first grade in the public school system, euphoria hit an all time high the week of preplanning.

There was something about returning to a super clean classroom, freshly painted walls, or the year I found a new dry erase board hanging where my old chalkboard used to be.  (I know teachers now have the fancy, techy smart boards and such; I did not.)

Decorating my bulletin boards, cutting out all the laminated items I'd created, writing students' names on nearly e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g in my room, all made me very happy. 

Then the day or weekend before the first day, I would close my door and take a quiet walk around my classroom.  I remember touching the desks and petitioning the Lord on behalf of each child's name written in black Sharpie. 

Rookie year.  At least I looked like I knew what I was doing...

I didn't know who my students would be; I didn't know their personalities or their needs, but I knew I needed to pray for them.  And as the school year progressed, the Lord heard some of their names lifted up with cries of desperation many more times than others...

And all the teachers said, "Amen". 

More than anything, I knew I needed the Lord.  I needed Him to guide me as I attempted to teach the ones in my care for the next 180 days.

Since our fourth year here at Fort Academy begins next week, I've been in preplanning mode, preparing my physical surroundings for a new year.  I've been organizing the heck out of our school room: purging, replacing, filing and creating.

I've been poring over the new curriculum, reading books for my own "professional development" and mapping out the lesson plans for this year.  I attended a homeschool conference a week ago and already met with some of the moms from my homeschool group.

I mean, I'm totally rockin' and rollin' here and we haven't officially begun.

But in the midst of my compulsive planning, preparing and organizing, the Lord dropped this truth bomb into my hands a few days ago.  Literally.

"Unless the LORD builds the house,

its builders labor in vain."  Psalm 127:1

Unless...
Unless He is in the plans...
Unless He is present...
Unless He is the point of it all...
Unless...

Which sounds remotely similar to the same message God spoke through the Old Testament prophet Zechariah back in 500ish BC. 

According to King Cyrus' decree, the Israelites had been set free from captivity in Babylon and were finally returning to their homeland of Jerusalem.  God had instructed His exiled people to rebuild His temple, which had been destroyed by the Babylonians.  The Israelites began with good intentions.  They worked.  But somewhere along the way, too many obstacles, lots of persecution, and lack of motivation, stalled the work for 15+ years. 

Prompted by the Lord, Zechariah spoke to Zerubbabel, the one responsible for overseeing the task of rebuilding the temple, with these words...

 

"Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,

says the LORD Almighty."

Zechariah 4:6

He went on to explain that when the capstone, the final piece of the building came out, there would be shouts of "God bless it!  God bless it!"

Not only I am believing those words for our own personal homeschool situation, but I'm also thinking of my church.  And BCA, the Christian school, directly behind and affiliated with our church.  I'm thinking of all the construction happening in both places.  Both are reaping the fruits of growth in this season.  And because of God's favor, both our church and the school have been undergoing some seriously major renovations this summer. 

Why all the construction?  Why the parking lot mess? Why the cost?  Why the expansion projects?

To know Him and make Him known.

But it can't happen without Him.

Thankfully, I trust the heart of the leadership at my church.
I know the heart of the administration at BCA.
I've experienced the heart of so many educators both in the public school system and those who choose to educate from home. 

They just get it.  They know that ultimately all the "building" they're doing has little to do with them.  They make the intentional choice not to trust in their own strength, abilities, or talents.  They have come to learn that if God's Spirit is not in all of the "building", they labor in vain.

It is only through God's Spirit that anything of lasting value is accomplished.

We've been singing this song, "Holy Spirit (You Are Welcome Here)", as part of our worship the last few Sundays at church.  Here are some of the lyrics:

"Holy Spirit, you are welcome here.

Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere.

Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for,

To be overcome by Your presence, Lord."

 

"Let us become more aware of Your presence.

Let us experience the glory of Your goodness."

(You can hear it here at this link:) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujqSyRzBLIM

The chorus has now become a specific prayer for my family, for my time with my girls as we spend another year learning together here at home. 

Might it be yours, too, for whatever season of "building" you may be walking through now?

For unless the Lord builds it...

Why We're Homeschooling Again This Year

As much as we'd like to proclaim, "LONG LIVE SUMMER!" from the tops of our lungs, we have to face the fact.  It's that time of year. 

Back to school.

Before moving ahead to our third year, let's venture back just a few months ago here at Fort Academy.  Last May we celebrated both Gloria's kindergarten graduation and the end of another successful year.  Here are a few pics.



Rocked out our 2nd year!

Girls helped me set the table for our end-of-school celebration

 

The staff and student body

Best. Class. Ever.

Cue the "Pomp and Circumstance"

Singing the "Magic e Song"



Sharing a piece of poetry



Girls were tickled to give me this...

 

Yes!  Teacher of the Year!  Tough race, but SO glad I came out on top. ;)

As my girls start 1st grade and 4th grade, I want to step back and remind myself why we do what we do.

We know the choice we've made to homeschool our girls is the best fit for us in this season with our family.  Right now it just works.  We're aware that one day it might not.  That's why we take one year at a time, constantly reevaluating and reconsidering the needs of our girls and of ourselves.

And just like any parent trying to help any child with anything, particularly homework, we have bumpy moments in this journey.  Some days it is inevitable.  Lots of pouting, grumbling, and crying. And then on other days, it's my girls' turn. :)

For the record, I attended a public elementary, middle and high school.  So did my husband.  We loved it.
I graduated from a Christian college and then began teaching in a public elementary school.  Loved it.
I married my husband who has been teaching in the public education system for 16 years.  He loves...okay...most days, he likes it.
My oldest attended preschool, kindergarten and first grade in a fabulous local Christian school.  She loved it.
My youngest attended preschool at the same school.  Also loved it.
I was a long-term substitute at that exact school.  Loved it.
And my husband is currently serving in his second year on the school board there as well.  Loves it.

But yet...

We homeschool.  And you guessed it.  We love it.

Maybe we just love education.  Maybe we're just school nerds who are capable of being content learning wherever, whenever.  Maybe.

But maybe we have chosen to homeschool because we felt the Lord leading us strongly in this direction three years ago and still choosing to keep us here now.

While God continued to nudge us toward to homeschool, simultaneously I sensed His call to die to selfishness.  Always the hardest part for me.  (Still is.)  In this case, I struggled with wanting MY freedom.  MY independence.  MY time. 

As I continued to wrestle with the Lord about this, I found my clear answer one evening in a very familiar story in Matthew 14. You know the one. Hungry crowd. Little boy. Bread and fish. Big miracle.

Simply put, the people were starving after being outside all day long.  Jesus' disciples, who were probably feeling the hunger pangs themselves, came up with their own solution.  Send the people away to get their own food.

But Jesus had a different plan and a completely different response: 

"They do not need to go away. 

You give them something to eat."



Without a doubt, I knew in that moment, God had given me a directive through His Word.

I was not to send my girls away to get their needs met by anyone else.  I was to do it.  It was to be my job.  My responsibility.  I was to give them "something to eat."

But...
*what if I screwed up?
*what if I didn't have enough patience?
*what about friends?  Mine and theirs?

As my list of questions grew, and as insecure and incompetent I felt, I still knew what I had to do. 

I did the same thing the little boy did with his five loaves and two fish. 

I took the little bit I had (the little bit of educational experience, the little bit of desire, the little bit of patience, the little bit of unselfishness, the little bit of confidence, etc.) and offered it to Jesus. 

Looking in, my basket held little to boast about.  Little to make a difference.  But humbly and willingly, I lifted it up to the only One who can multiply equations far more complex than any I ever tried to solve in school.

My job was to submit to His plan for our family. 
My joy has been watching Him feed His little sheep.

Out of curiosity last night, I asked my husband and both of the girls why we homeschool and why they like it.

My husband gave his list.  It was full of great answers like: deep, meaningful individualized instruction, a biblical worldview, chance to illuminate Christ throughout every subject, creating life-long learners, privilege of knowing and attending specifically to our girls' strengths and weaknesses, the intimate fellowship with family, etc.

My girls gave their list.  It included: getting to stay home all day, sleeping late, wearing pajamas/dressing how they want, no homework, getting done early, having lots of time to play, getting to be with each other, hearing great stories read to them, cuddling in Mommy's lap to read, moving at their own pace with work/not having to wait for others to finish, having Mommy as a teacher (yes, they really said that one), etc.

After they were all finished, and I'd recorded their answers, I asked again, "So, is that it?  Any other reasons why we homeschool?"

Grace turns to me and says, "Mom, because God told you to.  Remember?"

So, yeah, I guess that's it. 

Until we hear differently, until we are led in another direction, the plan is to continue homeschooling.  We will continue to give them something to eat.  We will continue to offer up our baskets in obedience and wait as He provides in miraculous ways.

My prayer for my girls is the same result the crowd (and the disciples) had after Jesus took care of their needs.

"They all ate and were satisfied..."

Matthew 14:20

Disclaimer: We know homeschooling is not the best fit, nor God's plan for every family. (gasp!)  We have friends and family who homeschool, some who send their children to Christian school, some who attend public school.  Each family has to do what is best for each individual child at each stage in his/her life.  We fully support all three options and the families who represent them.  As stated before, this is the best plan for us at this season in our lives.