Falling Through My Kitchen Ceiling & an Adoption Update (because they totally go together...)

If we're friends on Facebook, then you may have seen this picture and post three weeks ago:

"See this disastrous hole in my kitchen ceiling?  Now just imagine my entire left leg dangling from it.
Why?  Because about an hour ago, it was!

In an effort to save a little $$$, I went to the attic to try to find some of Grace's previously worn black dress shoes for Gloria to wear this weekend to a Valentine's dance.  Wasn't paying attention, took one step back & down I went...screaming all the way.

Took Derek about 2 seconds to race up the ladder & rescue his insulation-covered, shaken-up, teary wife.  Girls witnessed the whole thing & were quite shaken up as well. :( 

I bruised my knee & right wrist has been throbbing (& of course my pride is wounded), but other than that, I'm good.  Praise God!

So...looking back (& up at this mess), I'm thinking it would've been a whole lot cheaper to have just purchased new dress shoes..."

From the response I received, apparently falling through your ceiling is more common than I had initially thought.  After the shock wore off and the heart rates went down, we all got a good ol' fashioned belly laugh about it, particularly when my oldest said, "Mom, no offense or anything...but when I saw your leg hanging down, all I could think of were the huge shoes at the Center for Puppetry Arts."

A most accurate comparison indeed.

The last time we were at the
Center for Puppetry Arts in Atlanta

What I recall most of that entire evening was not the scary moment I fell, the humongous mess in my kitchen, or the pain I was feeling in my body.  It was actually something Grace, my oldest, said to me moments after it all happened.

My sweet, compassionate girls had ushered me to the recliner in the living room and had given me ice packs for my knee and wrist.  And while they were doctoring me (and my frazzled emotions) with lots of TLC, Derek took to action, cutting back loose dry wall, vacuuming up the insulation, etc.  Then without saying a word, he headed back up into the attic with a large piece of cardboard he'd found in the garage.

From the recliner, Grace and I could hear him working and could see some movement, but weren't sure what he was doing.  I asked her, "So...what do you think he's doing up there?" 

Gazing up at her daddy, Grace nonchalantly said, "Hmm...I don't know. But I trust him."

Forget the new bumps and bruises on my body, that simple comment left fresh marks on my heart.

And I knew why.

Three years ago, in one of the biggest steps of faith we've ever taken as a family, we began the journey to adopt.  Three years ago.  Sometimes it seems like yesterday and other times, another lifetime ago.

Last spring we thought we'd finally found her.  A brown-skinned 9-month old girl with a cleft lip and palate. We requested her file from her orphanage, spent hours researching future surgeries she'd need here in the States and even had discussions of the exact placement of her crib in our bedroom.

But then we got a phone call.  It wasn't going to happen.  We were not allowed to be matched with her. Officially, we were still attached to our original orphanage in northwest India and this little girl was in a very different orphanage in southeast India.  And adoption law in India (CARA) dictated that was not a possibility.

Disappointment hurts.  Especially of the faith variety.  Somewhere along the way, I've pulled back.  In the past year, I've struggled with trust and unbelief.  I've wrestled with doubt and fear.  I've grappled with selfishness and apathy.  I've even fought thoughts of, "Do I even still want what we've been waiting for these past three years?"

Inside, I've been a mess of emotions.  I've suffered from tension headaches.  All because I can't seem to regain the confidence I once had in this journey.  I've lost it...or rather had it stolen from me.  I guess waiting a long time for anything has the potential to do that to a person.

Through all of this (and trust me, we're still in the midst of it), God has been kind.  He's been more than patient.  He's been faithful when I've been completely faithless.  He's shown me that it's been this dormant disappointment which has kept me from reaching out in full faith again, believing Him and all the promises He's given us in the last three years.

About a month ago, He directed me to this in His word:

"In You our fathers put their trust; 

they trusted and You delivered them.

They cried to You and were saved; 

in You they trusted and were not disappointed." 

Psalm 22:4-5

Trust and disappointment.

And then just this past Sunday, our pastor, referencing David's two-decade wait to become the anointed King of Israel says this,

"The work of faith is in the waiting.  

The work of faith is when it's not.  

Will you wait faithfully?"

Waiting and faith.

And then we headed into Kids Crossing where we serve, where the new virtue for the month of March is patience. Yep.  Patience.

So, there I stood on stage Sunday, talking about the impatience of Esau with his brother, Jacob, and encouraging the kids to keep waiting on God's best, even if they don't think they can wait one. more. second.

Patience.

It's almost like God is telling us something...

After this emotional update, let me give you the logistical update with the adoption.  I know the guys would've liked this first, but sorry, I write the blog posts around here, not Derek.

Following the debacle last spring, our adoption agency contacted CARA (the governing agency dealing with all things adoption in India) and petitioned we be released from the orphanage they'd matched us with nearly three years ago.  After months and months of waiting for this request to be granted (because everything in India moves slower than slow), our request has been granted.  We are now officially unattached.

What does this mean?

This means we now have access to a special listing/database called CARINGS.  From what we understand, this database is updated and monitored daily by adoption agencies all over the world.  Indian orphanages upload children from their orphanages onto this list for adoption.  Since India is not releasing young, "healthy" children to be adopted by foreign families right now, this listing contains children with various special needs, ranging from mild to very severe.  The little girl with the cleft lip we had hoped to pursue in adoption was on this list.

Yes, we are clueless as to how this will all come to pass, but we are choosing to stay the course until we feel nudged to do otherwise.

What do we do while we're in this limbo state?

We...(wait for it...) wait.

And similar to Derek quietly taking care of business up in our attic, I choose to believe God is working, too.

Even when my feelings try to convince me otherwise, His Word says He is for us. He is for the fatherless. The plans He has for us are good.  Plans to prosper us, not to harm us. Plans to give us a hope and a future.

So...what is He doing?

"Hmm...I don't know.  But...I trust Him."

In the recliner...post-fall.

Our Top, Best, & Most Memorable 10 in 2013

Because I love good summaries, closure, and wrapping things up in neat, little bows, I thought I'd present our family's highlight reel for the year 2013:

1. Mini-Vacations and Family Getaways: 
January - Invited by friends, we spent MLK, Jr. weekend in a gorgeous cabin in Blue Ridge, Georgia.  Rode four-wheelers, ice skated and enjoyed hanging out in the beautiful North Georgia Mountains.

June - Told the girls we were taking them on a mystery trip.  Packed their bags and surprised them with a quick weekend getaway to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.  Attended the Dixie Stampede dinner show, went to the infamous Dollywood amusement park and stayed at the Wilderness at the Smokies lodge, where we rode the giant indoor water slides, surfed the waves, and swam in the pools.

September - Girls and I joined my parents on their vacation in Destin, Florida for a few days.  Prior to this beach trip, our toes had not touched the sand in four, very long years.  Nothing like a little beach therapy to make up for lost times!

October - Thanks to my aunt and uncle's extreme generosity in letting us borrow their camper, we got to spend a few days camping at a local state park.  Hiked, roasted marshmallows, rode our bikes on the trails, kayaked, and even hosted Grace's 10th birthday at the campsite. We decided camping (in a nice, clean camper) is definitely our thing.

2. Softball:
Two girls.  Two teams.  Bring on the spring...and fall.  Both girls signed up to play softball in the spring and in the fall of this past year.  Derek was the head coach for both of their teams, both seasons.  Made for some crazy-busy evenings, lots of "go, go, go", but also lots of great memories!

3. Adoption:
Whereas 2012 was filled with announcing our desire to adopt, filling out loads of paperwork, organizing fundraisers, and being matched with an orphanage in India, 2013 seemed to follow a much different pattern.

In the spring, we hit a wall with all the progress we'd made and since then, have been experiencing a long, dry season of nothingness.  This extended time of waiting has been difficult, but also beneficial.  We've learned to lean into God's promises even more, choosing to spend this season resting in His presence now as He continues to prepare us for what's ahead in the future.

But one exciting thing happened in November relating to adoption.  We got to hang out with hundreds of other adoptive families when we heard of an opportunity to participate in a music video shoot for Christian recording artist, John Waller. He'd recently written a new song entitled, "Orphan" and had asked families who'd adopted, who are in the process of adopting or who have a heart for adoption to come out and be a part of the video shoot. We didn't want to pass up the opportunity, so we drove over an hour away and stood out in the middle of a cow pasture in the rain for several hours just to be a part. So glad we took the time to go and make the memories that we did.  Priceless.

4. Secret Keeper Girl Dates:
After attending our first Secret Keeper Girl event in January, I bought the book, 8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters to do with my oldest, Grace.  Starting in February, we went on one date a month, leading up to her tenth birthday.  Of all the experiences this year, Grace still speaks about these special times with me.  Whether we were having tea at a local cafe, getting our nails done, touring a museum, walking the local botanical gardens, shopping, stopping for hot chocolate at Starbucks, or listening to a former Victoria Secrets model's testimony, we both enjoyed these special moments together.

5. 20-Year High School Reunion
Spent the evening catching up with some of my fellow Bulldog classmates.  It was great to see so many faces I hadn't seen in a long time as well as seeing face-to-face others I only get to see on Facebook!  Loved my sweet friends then; still love them now.

6. New Position at Work

After spending the last 16 years teaching math to middle/high students (bless him), as well as working as the Instructional Technology Specialist at his school, Derek moved to the Central Office and into a new role as Lead Technology Specialist for the county in which he works.  Though it's been a transition for him filled with new growth opportunities, it's also been a welcomed change in the last few months. (The girls even like to visit Daddy's new office and write on his very clean dry erase board.)

7. Started 3rd Year of Homeschooling
Biggest accomplishment this school year has been not only our six year old, Gloria, learning to read, but absolutely exploding in reading.  Once she got it, she got it.  She's made such a huge leap into reading this year that we still can't believe all she's reading, including chapter books, her Jesus Calling devotional and even the Bible.  Big deal for our little girl!

8. Celebrated 15 Years of Marriage!

As a present for our fifteenth anniversary, we went to NYC over Labor Day weekend.  New York had been on our bucket list since we'd gotten married, and so we decided to bite the bullet and go.  Times Square, Broadway, Staten Island Ferry past the Statue of Liberty, Ground Zero, Upper West Side of Manhattan, Brooklyn Tabernacle, Chinatown, carriage ride through Central Park, etc.  Great few days of sight seeing, eating and exploring the city that never sleeps!

9. Hosted a Small Group in our Home
One of our favorite happenings this year was deciding to be small group leaders at our church for the fall semester.  We opened the doors to our home and every Sunday in walked some amazing friends. Along with the rest of the small groups in our church body, we made our way through the book, Sun Stand Still.  We read, we discussed, we shared, we prayed and we were challenged to walk in and pray with audacious faith.  Daring to ask God, believing Him for the impossible.  We also had way too much fun if that's even possible on Sunday nights.

10.  Gloria's Baptism
By far, our most memorable event in 2013 happened in March.  Our youngest daughter, Gloria, decided she was ready to make public something that had happened privately in our home and in her heart.  She was ready to be baptized in front of both her immediate family and her church family, demonstrating her choice to follow Jesus and her spiritual adoption into His family forever.  It was definitely one of our best days ever, equal to the day our oldest made the same choice four years earlier.  Our hearts are beyond grateful.  And we have been richly blessed.



So, goodbye, 2013.  Hello, 2014.  Can't wait to see all that the new year brings! 

As We Go Along

It was one intentional week to make a huge impact within our community.

Serving food to employees in our local schools, local Sheriff's department, hospitals, etc....
Paying for someone's groceries...
Filling up someone's tank with gas...
Purchasing Christmas presents...
Filling bags with food items to be given away at the local food pantry...
Hosting a block party at the local Boys/Girls club...
Sponsoring a community-wide Christmas event at the town pavilion...
Etc., etc., etc.

It's official name was, "Walk Thru Bethlehem", because well, we did most of it in the little town of Bethlehem where our church is located.

The mission of the week: serve others, love others. 
Not because we had to, but because we could. 
Not with a "come and see" what our church is all about mentality, but rather a "go and show" the love of Christ.

A week ago, on the kickoff night of Walk Thru Bethlehem, all Sunday evening small groups met to eat dinner at the church and to receive assignments to serve.  Our small group (the rockin', most awesome group in the church...) had eight families show up ready to go.  We broke into pairs, took our $50 Visa gift cards and headed to our destination--Wal-Mart.

On the way, I assumed we would be the only small group wandering around looking for people to randomly bless, but I quickly found out my assumptions were wrong.  Within a few minutes, this unsuspecting Wal-Mart was flooded with tons of our church peeps.

At first I was a little concerned, thinking it would make it too awkward or too difficult with all of us in the building at the exact same time for the exact same reason.

I even said something to my husband about the saturation of us crazy church people and he so wisely said, "It's okay.  There are plenty of people here who have needs."  Point taken.

I believe the hardest part for all of us was just getting started.  Someone even asked, "So...what's our plan here?"  My reply: "We watch and we wait."

You see, there were many ways to be a blessing to someone that night.  Some chose to stand at the cash registers and offer to pay for someone's items in their cart.  Others chose to go to the back of the store and secretly pay off layaway accounts. And others chose the same approach we did.

At first the ten of us (yes, ten...four adults & six children ranging in ages 3-13) in our group wandered up and down aisles, no shopping cart, no items in hand to purchase.  In one word, stalking.  And looking very conspicuous while we did it.

Then my husband suggested taking the three youngest kiddos to the toy department while the three oldest kiddos stay with my friend, Terri, and me. 

Divide and conquer was our new strategy.  We also got a shopping cart, threw in some Christmas lights and tried to blend in with our surroundings. 

After a few minutes of trying to decide, we approached a young couple with their baby looking at Christmas decorations.  We introduced ourselves and I asked if they'd be okay with us helping with their purchase.  They kindly declined, saying they had all they really needed and suggested that we look for someone else who needed the blessing more than they did.

So...we did. 

Then I noticed a woman coming through the lawn and garden area, pushing her cart, interacting with her baby.  I watched her for a few minutes, and then suggested we approach her.  Terri offered to take care of the few groceries in her cart for her.  Once I overheard she was willing to let us do that, I rounded the corner to meet her and all I saw was her cute little dark-haired baby all bundled up. 

After introducing myself, I asked if her little girl had all her Christmas presents already.  To that the mother, replied, "No, no, she doesn't.  We can't this year."  I asked her if she'd rather us take care of her groceries or walk back to the toy department and shop for her little girl.  Her eyes lit up and she humbly said, "Oh, yes.  The toys." 

On the way, she mentioned her husband and two other little girls were walking around the store, too.  I leaned over to Terri and said, "We may need more gift cards."  Terri took off to round up any remaining gift cards from our group so we could take care of the other daughters' Christmas as well.

As we got to the toy department, we ran into our new friend's husband and their other beautiful daughters: a seven year old and their three year old.

I introduced myself to her husband, summarized the conversation we'd just had with his wife and asked his permission to assist in purchasing Christmas for their girls.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes sir, we are."

"Wow (tears in his eyes).  Really?  Well...whatever my wife says."

"She said, 'Yes'.  So, is it okay with you if we start shopping?"

With his wife's suggestions, we picked out gifts for their little ones.  When they left us to finish shopping for their groceries, we took the opportunity to add a few more surprises into the cart and head to check out.  Noisy toys, baby dolls and Barbies.  Such fun surprises for three little girls to find on Christmas morning!

After we'd paid and packaged all the gifts up for them, all ten of us met the sweet family at Customer Service.  Our husbands introduced themselves to our new friend's husband who was quite overwhelmed with emotion by this time.  We said our "good-byes" and "Merry Christmases", but not before our new friend hugged us over and over again.

We all left the store feeling a euphoric high.  Not because we'd done anything huge.  But because we'd done something so small.  But we believe that something small made a huge impact on a small family who needed it in a huge way this Christmas.

This is our family's fourth year participating in Walk Thru Bethlehem.  And more than anything, this is the lesson I've learned this year.  It comes from these six words:

"As He went along, He saw..."

John 9:1a



Usually when I'm out doing my grocery shopping, running errands, etc., I have my eyes on my list, kids in tow, trying to get in and out of wherever as quickly as possible.  No interruptions.  No observations.  Just do what I have to do as quickly as I can possibly do it.

This year's Walk Thru Bethlehem opportunity reminded me to look up and to look out.  I was reminded to really see people as I'm going along.  Not necessarily making a special trip somewhere to do something, but as I'm just doing my thing, notice others doing theirs.  Lift up a prayer for them, smile, interact, or possibly assist in something more tangible.  Whatever.

It's exactly what Jesus did.  As He walked, as He journeyed, He took notice of people.  He was never too preoccupied to stop and meet a need.  He was always on mission and it's possible for me to be, too. 

Sure, it's uncomfortable as first.  Don't think for a minute any of us were really cool with the whole process at the beginning.  It took some dying to ourselves for us to truly see someone else.  We had to step out of our self-centered comfort zones and be intentional. 

The other amazing thing about last week was knowing so many others were doing similar things at the same time and at the same place and for the same reason.  There was camaraderie.  The more, the merrier the Christmas we could give to others.  Two...or tons...are definitely better than one.  There is strength in numbers, particularly unified numbers.

I think that's one of the main reasons I love the church, the body of Christ.  We all have the same objective, making Christ known; it just manifests itself in different ways.  And when we do it all together, as we go along, so much more is accomplished. 

Lord, help us to see as we're going along.  To look up and look around us at those who are in need.  Because you first loved us, we can love.  Because You first served us, we can serve.  Because You first gave to us, we can give.  We'll wait upon You, watching, together...as we go along.