Falling Through My Kitchen Ceiling & an Adoption Update (because they totally go together...)

If we're friends on Facebook, then you may have seen this picture and post three weeks ago:

"See this disastrous hole in my kitchen ceiling?  Now just imagine my entire left leg dangling from it.
Why?  Because about an hour ago, it was!

In an effort to save a little $$$, I went to the attic to try to find some of Grace's previously worn black dress shoes for Gloria to wear this weekend to a Valentine's dance.  Wasn't paying attention, took one step back & down I went...screaming all the way.

Took Derek about 2 seconds to race up the ladder & rescue his insulation-covered, shaken-up, teary wife.  Girls witnessed the whole thing & were quite shaken up as well. :( 

I bruised my knee & right wrist has been throbbing (& of course my pride is wounded), but other than that, I'm good.  Praise God!

So...looking back (& up at this mess), I'm thinking it would've been a whole lot cheaper to have just purchased new dress shoes..."

From the response I received, apparently falling through your ceiling is more common than I had initially thought.  After the shock wore off and the heart rates went down, we all got a good ol' fashioned belly laugh about it, particularly when my oldest said, "Mom, no offense or anything...but when I saw your leg hanging down, all I could think of were the huge shoes at the Center for Puppetry Arts."

A most accurate comparison indeed.

The last time we were at the
Center for Puppetry Arts in Atlanta

What I recall most of that entire evening was not the scary moment I fell, the humongous mess in my kitchen, or the pain I was feeling in my body.  It was actually something Grace, my oldest, said to me moments after it all happened.

My sweet, compassionate girls had ushered me to the recliner in the living room and had given me ice packs for my knee and wrist.  And while they were doctoring me (and my frazzled emotions) with lots of TLC, Derek took to action, cutting back loose dry wall, vacuuming up the insulation, etc.  Then without saying a word, he headed back up into the attic with a large piece of cardboard he'd found in the garage.

From the recliner, Grace and I could hear him working and could see some movement, but weren't sure what he was doing.  I asked her, "So...what do you think he's doing up there?" 

Gazing up at her daddy, Grace nonchalantly said, "Hmm...I don't know. But I trust him."

Forget the new bumps and bruises on my body, that simple comment left fresh marks on my heart.

And I knew why.

Three years ago, in one of the biggest steps of faith we've ever taken as a family, we began the journey to adopt.  Three years ago.  Sometimes it seems like yesterday and other times, another lifetime ago.

Last spring we thought we'd finally found her.  A brown-skinned 9-month old girl with a cleft lip and palate. We requested her file from her orphanage, spent hours researching future surgeries she'd need here in the States and even had discussions of the exact placement of her crib in our bedroom.

But then we got a phone call.  It wasn't going to happen.  We were not allowed to be matched with her. Officially, we were still attached to our original orphanage in northwest India and this little girl was in a very different orphanage in southeast India.  And adoption law in India (CARA) dictated that was not a possibility.

Disappointment hurts.  Especially of the faith variety.  Somewhere along the way, I've pulled back.  In the past year, I've struggled with trust and unbelief.  I've wrestled with doubt and fear.  I've grappled with selfishness and apathy.  I've even fought thoughts of, "Do I even still want what we've been waiting for these past three years?"

Inside, I've been a mess of emotions.  I've suffered from tension headaches.  All because I can't seem to regain the confidence I once had in this journey.  I've lost it...or rather had it stolen from me.  I guess waiting a long time for anything has the potential to do that to a person.

Through all of this (and trust me, we're still in the midst of it), God has been kind.  He's been more than patient.  He's been faithful when I've been completely faithless.  He's shown me that it's been this dormant disappointment which has kept me from reaching out in full faith again, believing Him and all the promises He's given us in the last three years.

About a month ago, He directed me to this in His word:

"In You our fathers put their trust; 

they trusted and You delivered them.

They cried to You and were saved; 

in You they trusted and were not disappointed." 

Psalm 22:4-5

Trust and disappointment.

And then just this past Sunday, our pastor, referencing David's two-decade wait to become the anointed King of Israel says this,

"The work of faith is in the waiting.  

The work of faith is when it's not.  

Will you wait faithfully?"

Waiting and faith.

And then we headed into Kids Crossing where we serve, where the new virtue for the month of March is patience. Yep.  Patience.

So, there I stood on stage Sunday, talking about the impatience of Esau with his brother, Jacob, and encouraging the kids to keep waiting on God's best, even if they don't think they can wait one. more. second.

Patience.

It's almost like God is telling us something...

After this emotional update, let me give you the logistical update with the adoption.  I know the guys would've liked this first, but sorry, I write the blog posts around here, not Derek.

Following the debacle last spring, our adoption agency contacted CARA (the governing agency dealing with all things adoption in India) and petitioned we be released from the orphanage they'd matched us with nearly three years ago.  After months and months of waiting for this request to be granted (because everything in India moves slower than slow), our request has been granted.  We are now officially unattached.

What does this mean?

This means we now have access to a special listing/database called CARINGS.  From what we understand, this database is updated and monitored daily by adoption agencies all over the world.  Indian orphanages upload children from their orphanages onto this list for adoption.  Since India is not releasing young, "healthy" children to be adopted by foreign families right now, this listing contains children with various special needs, ranging from mild to very severe.  The little girl with the cleft lip we had hoped to pursue in adoption was on this list.

Yes, we are clueless as to how this will all come to pass, but we are choosing to stay the course until we feel nudged to do otherwise.

What do we do while we're in this limbo state?

We...(wait for it...) wait.

And similar to Derek quietly taking care of business up in our attic, I choose to believe God is working, too.

Even when my feelings try to convince me otherwise, His Word says He is for us. He is for the fatherless. The plans He has for us are good.  Plans to prosper us, not to harm us. Plans to give us a hope and a future.

So...what is He doing?

"Hmm...I don't know.  But...I trust Him."

In the recliner...post-fall.

Principles of (Happy) Moms Who Home Educate

I stumbled upon this list on another blog I was reading a few days ago and instantly fell in love.

Because when you've reached the halfway point in your school year and when you've been all bundled up trying to stay warm and disliking January (VERY MUCH) and you find this list which picks you up and simultaneously kicks your butt into remembering the most important things about why you do what you do, then yes, you share it.

You share it with yourself on your own blog so you will never forget the beautiful, rest-filled, peaceful, grace-filled reminders, but also, maybe, you share it for any of your fellow homeschooling mama friends (or friends considering homeschooling) who may need the encouragement as well.

Principles of (Happy) Moms Who Home Educate:

* God is in control of our family’s home education. 

* Home education is a portion of my full vocation as wife and mother. Keep it proportionate.

* Home education, when done from love and humility, is a steady path to sanctity and heaven.

* Home education is primarily a way of life, not an alternative to school.

* My husband is objectively the spiritual head of our household, the spiritual director of our home education.

* All home education decisions are prudential between husband, wife, and God. Leave the neighbors out of it.

* Homeschooling is mostly joyful and right. It is also hard work worth doing and involves purposeful suffering.

* Anxiety and worry are not an inevitable part of home education or an outward sign of hard work. They are signs to re-group.

* Burn-out is preventable.

* There is no perfect curriculum (self-designed or prepackaged.) Perfect is the enemy of the good. Be content with good enough. (Good enough does not justify sloth which is not good enough. Know when to realize that any additional effort toward improvement would result in a negligible improvement, especially in comparison to the effort required to gain it.)

* Plan primarily based on the truth about Mom, playing to my strengths, secondarily on the needs of the family as a whole, thirdly on the individual needs of each child, playing to their strengths.

* Emphasize character formation for all, especially formation that increases family harmony and independent decision-making. 

* Academic achievement is over-rated.

* Focus on today.

* Progress is not linear and best gauged over time.

* We’re never behind. We’re exactly where God wants us. We entrust the past to God’s Divine Mercy and the future to His Divine Providence. 

* Saints do not compare themselves to their neighbors because they keep their eyes fixed upon God.

* Delegate out of humility.

* Know when to take a break to refresh and renew.

* Know what I need to feel comfortable in my home. Prioritize maintaining a basic level of order.

* Discussion counts as an invaluable learning and teaching tool. 

* Mastery takes time, for student and educator.

* Laughter is good, even when it needs to be redirected.

* Academic standards are arbitrary.

* Time spent on curriculum planning is time not spent on other things.

* Money spent on curriculum is money not spent on other things.

* A sense of humor lightens our load.

* Enthusiasm is contagious.

* Enthusiasm enhances motivation and engagement.

* Engagement and practice increases retention. 

"Entrusting the past to God’s Divine Mercy and the future to His Divine Providence..."
And grateful that God has a giant one of these set aside for each of us on any given day...

What is Prayer, Really?

For anyone else who may need a shake up and/or dose of encouragement with your current prayer life like I sure have...here's my 2 cents this morning:

Prayer is not reduced to a habit that "good" Christians do.  It's not something to be checked off in the morning.  Or a ritual at night.  It's not a burden.  It's not an obligation.  It's not a duty.

So...what then?

I sure do love this super simple (but very profound) definition I read this morning!

"Prayer is being with God Who is always with you."

After being a redeemed child of God for 30+ years, I'm STILL learning that prayer is abiding.  It's simply dialoguing with my Father.  It's ongoing.  Unceasing.

This talking with Him, leaning upon Him, submitting to Him, is a privilege.  A privilege I don't take advantage of nearly enough.

This week I am LOVING the yellow dot stickers my pastor passed out to us on Sunday, challenging our church to remember to pray...hourly as a matter of fact.  I admit I've missed that mark, but I'm grateful for the purpose of the challenge.

Seeing that sticker has encouraged me to stay conscious of conversation with Him.

Being WITH Him, as He is always WITH me.

And if I don't get, or practice, or change anything else in 2015, at least I'm beginning this year (re)learning how to pray.

Amen.  And amen.

Our Family's Best of 2014

Since I posted our family's best and most memorable events here last year, I thought I'd do another year-end recap from 2014...

Presenting the top 11 (because we couldn't agree on just 10) highlight reel from 2014 from our family:

11. Community, growth and service

Derek and I opened our home again this year to two different small groups, one in the spring and a different one this past fall.  We loved having all the couples over each Sunday night to discuss, pray and laugh together.  With the other small groups from our church, we journeyed through two different books, Joseph by Charles Swindoll and Families Where Grace is in Place by Jeff Van Vonderen.  Both were excellent and challenging reads.  So grateful for the camaraderie we experienced both semesters.

Tacky sweater Christmas party!

 

In August, Derek and I began serving in Kids Crossing at our church each Sunday morning.  We are the hosts for large group, which means we have scripts and scripture we have to memorize and teach each week.  Though we're certainly not actors, the teachers in us sure have enjoyed working together and engaging with the kids in this way! 

A few months ago, during the second service, Grace started helping in the kindergarten class, using her gifts of patience, teaching and love for children.  Also, both girls have been a part of the Kids Worship Team this year.  Each month they learn new songs and then lead worship in Kids Crossing on their designated Sunday.  It has blessed our hearts watching them sing and dance for Jesus from backstage!

10. Technology conference at the University of Texas in Austin

While Derek attended classes and seminars during the mornings and afternoons, I spent three hot, July days resting, reading, working out and staying poolside.  Yes, I was a lucky girl, indeed!  In the evenings, we explored the eclectic city of Austin in our cute little rental car, enjoyed dinner out and even went shopping for boots.  Because when in Rome...or Texas...

9. Ended 3rd year of homeschooling; began 4th term here at Fort Academy

Our curriculum left us in Ancient Greece back in May and in August, we began our history lessons with Ancient Rome. 

Field trip to Rome, Georgia, to see Romulus and Remus,
founders of Ancient Rome as legend tells it.

The girls are currently in 2nd and 5th grades this year and doing exceptionally well.  Just like any other classroom, with any other teacher, and with any other students, we have great days and on occasion, we have a few not-so-great days.  That's just life.  (Especially life spent teaching your own flesh and blood, day in and day out. ;))  We've all learned so much, but I've most certainly learned the most.  Very thankful for the second education I'm getting this go-around and very thankful for all the time I get to spend with my girls!

8.  Field trip to Kentucky and Ohio

As an extension of having gone through the Old Testament last school year, we took a road trip to the Creation Museum in northern Kentucky over spring break in April.  We also traveled to the Cincinnati Zoo and then into Indiana, just so the girls could color one more state on their map. :) On the way home, we made a quick stop in Louisville at Churchill Downs and let the girls see where the Kentucky Derby is run each spring. 

 

7.  Gymnastics & softball

In January of this year, both girls began going to gymnastics one hour, once a week at a local gymnastics center.  During the summer, they became part of a team, the Gym Stars, and are now at the gym two hours a day, two days a week.  They have had two mini/mock meets so far and also had the chance to march in the local Christmas parade with their gym.  They will begin meets in March and are very excited to have a small taste of competition.  We are shocked at how many skills both of them have gained this year, but mostly at how strong they both have become.  And I have to say they probably spend more time on their hands than their feet nowadays!

Gloria played another season of 6U softball this past spring and Derek coached her team again.  I sure hope we never stop loving being on the ballfield!

 

6.  Beach trip to Destin, Florida

It had been five years, but in September all four of us were able to go to the beach together and we couldn't have asked for a better trip.  Well...except for the last morning there.  But since I wrote about that here in my last post, I'll move ahead to the next one...

 

5. Camping in our new tent

Never say never.  Because I said I'd never sleep in a tent.  I said I'd never go camping in a tent.  But when you're family wants to try it, you give in or get left out.  So...we bought a tent (and a whole bunch of other camping supplies) and went camping in October, tent style.  And after three days snuggled up in sleeping bags, on cots, out in the great outdoors, it wasn't bad.  As a matter of fact, I could even say, it was fun, because well...it was fun.  So much so, that we just might pack up house and home and try it again in 2015. :)

 

4. Trip to New York

Anthony, my friend's husband, called in late September to let me know of his big birthday plans for his wife, Terri. She would be turning 40 in November and had always wanted to see the Broadway show, "Wicked". Terri's husband wanted to surprise her with a trip to NYC to see the show. Derek and Anthony started having conversations about the trip, how it would be even more fun if we were able to join them in the celebration, especially since the three of us had all just turned 40 within the last few months. The two of them began planning, scheduling, and making reservations for all of four of us to go.  We were successfully able to keep the entire trip a complete secret for nearly six weeks! Terri was beyond surprised when they arrived in NYC and we were already at the hotel waiting for them.  The four of us had an amazing time; it will definitely go down as one of the all-time, best vacations we've ever had!



The suckers may say, "40 sucks", but our trip to NYC sure didn't!

3.  Derek's technology conference in Orlando...and Disney World!

During the last week in January, Derek had his first technology conference of the year in Orlando.  We decided to take the whole family down earlier than his conference and enjoy a few days at Disney World.  Derek and I managed to keep our plans a total surprise for the girls.  They only thought we were going to hang out at a hotel for three days, doing school, swimming, etc. while Dad went to his sessions.  They had no idea where we were headed and all the plans we'd made. 

All of our secret planning paid off in a huge way when, shortly after 10:00pm, we approached the infamous "Welcome to Disney World" sign before entering the Disney resorts.  The girls were shocked, totally and completely surprised.  There were tears, and smiles, shrieks, and laughter.  All the emotions we'd hope we'd see, we saw late that night in the car.  When the week was over, we wound up having the most magical time (of course we did...it's Disney!), including meeting Elsa and Anna, which clinched the entire trip for them.  Here's to hoping Derek goes back to another conference in Orlando very soon!

2.  Our "over the hill" birthdays

Big year for us celebrating our big 4-0's!

 

1.  My brother is cancer-free!

In mid-January of this past year, my younger brother called with devastating news.  He had cancer, Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  For six months, every other week, he received his prescribed dose of chemotherapy.  He got sick.  He lost some weight.  He lost some hair.  But never, not that I ever saw, did he lose his fighting spirit.  Now, I'm sure he had some very difficult moments, like when he caught a stomach virus while his immune system was compromised which put him in the hospital because he was deathly ill.  And I'm sure there were others behind closed doors, but even then, he always seemed to maintain hope, bravery and positivity in the midst of it all. 

In June, when his last chemo session was all said and done, and his scans came back "normal", we celebrated.  We celebrated because not only did God walk through those stressful, hard months with my brother, his wife and our family and friends, but He chose, in His sovereign kindness, to heal my brother.  And for that reason alone, we celebrated.  And we still celebrate.  Without a doubt, the best thing that happened in our family during 2014 is that my brother is healthy and well.

He's the man!

For all our family has been extremely fortunate to do this year, we are grateful.  We are grateful for the opportunities to travel and the experiences we've had together.  As we look ahead, I thought this quote which one of my favorite comedians posted on Facebook sums up how I feel about the upcoming year:

"Hey 2015 - I see you waiting there. 

I reach out confidently to shake your hand because

I know Who goes before me and

Who is for me

and Whose I am."

~ Anita Renfroe

Happy 2015 to you all!