Monday, April 25, 2016

India/Pearl recap #3 (originally posted on Facebook while in India)


First of all, we believe we've taken a couple of steps forward the last two days. 
Yesterday we had a "rest day" according to our itinerary (meaning no appointments to attend). Initially we thought we'd take that time to do some sightseeing, maybe drive to the Taj Mahal (3 hours away), etc. But then we realized it was just too much for us, so we opted to stay here at the hotel and the mall next door. The other day we purchased a stroller at a market and wanted to use it today to "teach" Pearl how to ride in it. I know this sounds like common knowledge for a two-year old, but when you've never seen a stroller, it's not. We wanted to prepare her for all the times when we get home when she will have to be strapped into something--carseat, highchair, stroller, etc. And also the stroller will help greatly in the airports as we make our way home.

Yesterday morning we took her to the mall and as soon as we put her in, she started wailing. She pulled at the straps and cried and cried. I walked beside her holding her hand, caressing her arms, and offering pieces of cereal, which she took in-between snuffles. After about 10 minutes, she stopped. She was clinging to the bar in front with all her might and her legs were tense. But we got through the rest of the walk with no tears. We took her back later yesterday evening, repeated the process, and had even better success. She only cried for about a minute or two before she stopped and realized that riding in a stroller is actually fun. 
 Tonight we did the same thing. And let me tell you...there was NO peep! No tears. No fear. No tension in her body or on her face. I was even able to walk beside her without holding her hands, just offering big smiles of encouragement and pride whenever she looked up at me. At one point we looked down and she had let go of the bar in front and was clapping and bobbing her head to the music playing inside the mall. I wish I had a picture of the look Derek and I shared when we saw her doing this. It was like we'd just witnessed a miracle. Hope flourished! She looked like all the other kids we passed as we pushed her.

We are super aware that most everything she sees or experiences is brand-new to her. She spent the last two years of her life in three rooms. Three rooms. If she had a theme song right now, it would be "A Whole New World" from Aladdin, because it all is to her. 

How is she doing with us? Pearl is completely and totally obsessed with me. If I take one step to the right, she takes one step to the right. She has to be as close as possible to me or in my lap at. all. times. Yes, she is attaching, but it's very insecure attaching, because if she looks up and I've walked into our hotel restroom without her knowing it, she cries. I have a set of little brown eyes on me at all times. Big adjustment for me since I've had so much freedom with my girls being older. I know it will get better as she transitions to being securely attached, confident in the fact that I am close or that she can trust me that I will be right back. Sadly, abandonment wounds run deep. 

Derek has started taking her on brief walks around the hotel whenever I need to get dressed. No, she's not a happy camper when he scoops her up, but after a few minutes, she stops. She used to throw her head back when he touched her, but thankfully she stopped doing that. If I'm standing next to him, sometimes she'll let him give her a kiss. She also lets him feed her at every meal and doesn't mind sleeping in between us in the king-sized bed. She's not consistent with her reactions toward him, but he is certainly giving all he has toward winning over her heart. But I know it still hurts him when she pushes away or cries when he gets too close. He really, really misses Grace and Gloria and all their loving right now; I do too. 

We had three big appointments today: 2nd medical where the Dr. cleared her for leaving India (yay!), applying for Pearl's VISA at the U. S. Embassy and then the forever long one at the Foreign Regional Office for our exit permits to leave the country. Derek has to go back tomorrow to get the VISA and then present it to the FRRO.

Then we have one last pick up of the exit permits on Wednesday. We pack up on Thursday, head to the airport around midnight, and hop on our first plane HOME! And.we.cannot.wait. We're just too homesick and are over feeling like exiles in a foreign land. PLEASE PRAY we receive all the documentation I mentioned above and that there are NO glitches. 

Oh, and a couple of other positive things...even though Pearl babbles a lot in Hindi, we know she comprehends about 10 English words already in the 4 days that we've had her (mommy, daddy, baby, cup, eat, shoes, blanket, keys, up, & water). That's pretty impressive! Proof that she's a super smart girl!

Another awesome thing are the changes we've seen in her little hands. From the moment we got her from the orphanage we noticed her hands were always gnarled up--like someone with significant rheumatoid arthritis. Of course this concerned us; Derek even said he prayed for them. But today we looked down and noticed how relaxed they looked. It's like the tension is leaving and she is starting to feel comfortable with us. Of course, in a few days, her little world will change again when we get home. I'm sure we'll experience some setbacks, but then after time, some MAJOR successes. Cannot wait for those!

We really appreciate you following along with us and ESPECIALLY for all the prayers. It's those prayers, you all lifting us up, carrying our needs to the Father, that has sustained us and allowed us to experience some tiny, and big, victories the last couple of days. We wouldn't have them without you. So, thank you!!!

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