Cocooning - Insight into What Life Will Look Like for Us When We Get Home

It’s. Time.

Paperwork is being gathered, bags are being packed, and on Monday, as in THIS Monday, Derek and I will be boarding a plane and making the long trek to India.  (Still in total, complete shock over here...)

THANK YOU to all of you who have prayed for us, given financially, or just asked about the process. The support we have felt has been overwhelming and it is taking all I have not to walk around a continual, blubbering mess right now.

I wanted to give a little insight into what the next few months will be like for our family and tell you how you can help.

Pearl has lived just about every single day of her two short years in an orphanage, supposedly a “good” one, but still an institutionalized orphanage. She comes from a multiple-caregiver situation, has been taken care of by devoted nannies, but she has never known the concept of a Mom or Dad.

In her world, any adult in the room (most especially women) are there to take care of her. We will be spending the next year teaching her, and demonstrating to her, that we are Mom and Dad.

We will need to teach her to trust, love, and attach/bond with us.

Our prayer is that she will attach to us, and her sisters, but ultimately to her good, good, heavenly Father.

The best way for us to teach her these things is by “cocooning”, which basically means we'll be circling our wagons and hunkering down with our little family for a while.

She will be overwhelmed by foreign people, foreign smells, foreign language, etc. when we come home. It will take time for her to feel safe and secure with us.

For her sake alone, we will make her world small by not taking her out very much, or introducing her to too many people or places at first. We will essentially attempt to recreate the newborn/parent connection that she missed out on.

This principle is not permanent, but absolutely necessary in the beginning.

The best way for us to do this is by Derek and I being the ones to feed, hold, hug, instruct, and soothe Pearl. As we repeat these things over and over again, she will learn that Mom and Dad are to be trusted and loved.

 

Once Pearl establishes these bonds with us, she will be able to branch out and build other relationships (yay!)

You guys can play an important role in all of this.  We ask you to set physical boundaries at first. For a little while, this would include things like holding, excessive hugging or kissing, etc. Children from these backgrounds tend to attach very easily to anyone and everyone. 

Things like waving, high fives, and blowing kisses are TOTALLY appropriate & welcomed!

Also it will help in the healing process, if you guys redirect Pearl to us. If she comes to you for food, or to be picked up, or for emotional nurturing (like if she gets hurt), you redirecting her to me or to Derek, will help tremendously in us establishing who we are as Mom and Dad, those she can absolutely trust to meet whatever need she has.

We pray that Pearl’s healing will come quickly, but we also understand that this is a life-long journey for her and us.

We are heading into the trenches, y’all.

Please pray for Derek, Gloria, Grace, Pearl and me during this time.

Pearl is one super blessed little girl to have so many people who love her, who are cheering for her and are praying for her already!

Thank you for loving us so well!